


What We Owe To Each Other

by rainbowflavored_fiction



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, False Identity, Magical Realism, Multi, Past Relationship(s), Philosophy, Slow Burn, Soulmate-Identifying Timers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-07-11 02:22:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15962639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowflavored_fiction/pseuds/rainbowflavored_fiction
Summary: Carmilla has a disease called xeroderma pigmentosum which prevents her from going into the sunlight. To have some sense of normalcy, she takes philosophy courses at Silas. There, on a cold and snowy night she bumps into Laura, and the timer on their wrists goes off. They have the universe on their side. However, Carmilla’s mother will stop everything to make sure nothing is.Or, the one where Laura goes on an adventure of a lifetime and Carmilla is thrown into a world of color unlike her own.





	What We Owe To Each Other

**Author's Note:**

> It's unfathomable to imagine that I began writing this fic in April, only for it to explode into the behemoth of what it is now. This particular soulmate au came to me in multiple versions, from a victorious au that I tried to work with, to a color au, and nothing seemed to fit. This story is inspired largely by other pieces of literature. "Everything, Every thing", "Midnight Sun", and "The Little Prince", are all referenced somewhere by a character at some point. Oh, and there's a scene loosely inspired by Riverdale thrown in, if you squint. 
> 
> There's a lot of people I'd like to thank, for baring with me on this particularly difficult (yet rewarding) journey. My two lovely betas, Robin and Susan, for being an extra pair of eyes and encouraging me that no, I'm not crazy. My beloved Gabriel, who - with their unconditional enthusiasm and love - listened to me rant and vent for hours on end because I just couldn't get a scene right, or if a certain thing was bothering me on that day. You're sensational, bub. Thank you. 
> 
> And last but certainly not least, my dear friend Katie, who drew not one but TWO pieces of fantastic art for this story, and I'm still in awe how well she captured both scenes. You've been an absolute joy to work with, creampuff. 
> 
> This story was originally meant to be 15k, but it ran away with me and ended up being 24k, holy moly. 
> 
> I'm incredibly proud of it all, because I was able to discipline myself to finish this before I got ready for my senior year of college. I had hit a writer's block halfway through, until one night I sat down and took a crack at the ending until 2 am. Had I not done that, I would have had something extra to worry about besides moving into my dorm and making sure I had all the books necessary for class. I couldn't have done this alone. I'm so grateful to everyone who helped make this pipe dream possible. If I had the opportunity to do this Big Bang event in 2019, I wouldn't hesitate. It's been a blast. Nothing but a positive experience all around. 
> 
> Humbly, I present to you: "What We Owe To Each Other". I do not own Carmilla. Just my imaginative capabilities. Anything referenced that has connections to the real world, alive or dead, are a coincidence.

 

**For Gabriel, my little prince**

* * *

 

 ** _“Spoiler alert: Love is worth everything. Everything.”_** \- Nicola Yoon

 

* * *

         

The first time Carmilla read The Little Prince with her mother, she was so sad that he died. She didn’t understand how he would choose death just to be with his rose. As she grew older and fell in love with her own rose, it was only then that she understood. He didn’t choose to die. That beautiful rose was his whole universe. Without that rose, he wasn’t really living.

 

* * *

 

 

         _Tap, tap, tap, tap._

            “Carmilla.”  

       _Tap, tap, tap, tap_ —

              “Carmilla, would you please—,”

       _Tap, tap, tap—thump._

 The young woman’s pencil rolled onto the floor and broke in two.

         “—stop tapping that pencil,” The other woman sighed dramatically, going over to pick it up.

        “Apologies, Mother.” Carmilla replied, her cheeks flushed.

     “Of course, you are. Sit upright, shoulders straight. Once from the top.” Her mother nodded to Carmilla’s sheet music, a piece the raven-haired girl had been working on all morning. Lilita handed her a new pencil.

     Clair De Lune. Debussy. There was something other worldly about the pianist, a human being put on earth but he was meant to be born in a different time. His pieces sent Carmilla on a different celestial plane. Her fingers rapping gently across the piano keys soothed her frail spirit, as she tried to imagine a world outside of her own.   

    A world where she wasn’t sickly or pathetic. A new place opposite of reality, where it wasn’t monotone or structured. Carmilla wondered if she’d done something utterly barbaric in her past life, which would lead to the universe punishing her severely in this one. 

           Carmilla sighed and looks out the elongated window beside her, the winter snow was falling down in flutters, pattering against the glass. It was gloomy outside—but Carmilla thrived in this type of weather. She inwardly joked with herself that Chopin’s Raindrop prelude would fit the mood better. It wasn’t the kind of snow that one could make snowman and snow angels out of; it turned to slush the moment it hit the ground and got stuck in her clothes.

       She was _miserable_. 

       “Brilliant, my glittering girl. You’re getting better.” Her mother crooned. She clasped her hands together. “Now. It’s time for your medicine.” 

       Carmilla nods numbly and gets up, wanting to play the piano more. The urge to explore new pieces of music without her mother’s watchful eye grew with fervor, but she was an obedient daughter.  

        Don’t go outside before 5:00 pm.  

        Don’t leave your shoes at the door.

        Don’t talk to strangers unless of an emergency.

        Don’t forget your medicine at home.

   Carmilla could go on, but these were the sort of things that had been drilled into her mind since day one. It was Carmilla’s normal. At age twenty, girls would be experiencing their first loves. Or have a job. Or hang out with friends on weekends.

     Carmilla may as well be a vampire. Her skin was pale and she was scrawny, her body didn’t have that hour-glass shape she craved. She had a sharp jawline that could cut through glass and eyes that sunk in, from lack of sleep above all else. But the oddest part of her routine—an unfortunate occurrence that no one dares give mention of—is that she’s forbidden to go out in the sun. 

     An odd punishment, some might say, but it was literally a matter of life and death.   

     Carmilla may be frustrated with her life but never to the point of recklessly ending it by stepping outside during the daytime. 

    The faint ticking sound alerted Carmilla from her daydream as she drew her attention towards her wrist, and her lips curled into an uncharacteristic smile. It was the only thing that made sense in her world.

     This timer, miraculously printed in ink on her skin, would one day stop the moment she sees her soulmate. It was a phenomenon most scientists could never figure out. Why, for example, do some people have two sets of timers? One? Or not at all? Another strange manifestation with this soulmate madness, is that as well as being linked by _time itself_ , soulmates are also linked by _pain_. Any kind of inflection one partner gives, the other shall receive. It was the only thing stopping Carmilla from inflicting herself further, in those terrible years where she hated herself. If she died, what would happen to her partner? It was a terrifying thought to go through with.

        In the beginning, Carmilla felt sorry for her partner, wherever they are. They were definitely better off with someone else. Someone who had the mental stability to take care of herself without the watchful eyes. Someone who was healthy. 

       Now, it’s the only thing keeping her going through the long nights and quiet days. That somewhere, in this vast and changing universe, someone was born to love her. 

          “Hey.” Carmilla whispered softly to her timer, thumb tracing against the seconds as they flew by. No response. That was okay. They were thinking of her too, somewhere.

          “Hey!” A new voice quipped, startling Carmilla.

      “Are you serious, Will.” The young woman exclaimed, out of breath. “Don’t sneak up on me like that.”

     “You were spacing out again. I was only concerned.” William Luce was her cousin and son of Mattie Belmonde, the Karnstein’s live-in nanny. The only other two people that knew of her existence. It always shocked Carmilla that her mother and Mattie were biologically related, when they hardly looked the same or had anything in common. He was fifteen—diving head first into the rebellious, emo phase of adolescence. A time that seemed pleasant in theory, despite all the testosterone and growing pains that came with it. Carmilla vicariously lived through him.

      “We need to get you a bell.”

      “Your sense of humor is abysmal.” Will snarked. “Do you need help walking up the stairs?”

      “No. Some company would be nice, though.” Carmilla chimed, reaching out her hand. Will took it gladly. “How was school today?”

      The boy shrugged. “It was okay. The lunch lady got fired because the principal was getting reports of food poisoning.”

      “That… solves nothing.” Carmilla replied, shaking her head. If there was one thing Carmilla could be grateful of, is that she never experienced public schooling. It all seemed to be a barbaric system of rules that was borderline psychotic. Not to mention the dress code that was put in place; it seemed to be ineffective, since Carmilla would read articles time and time again about female students easily finding ways to violate it. 

      The world inside Carmilla’s bubble may be monochrome and void of anything, but the outside seemed cruel and unforgiving. Which is the lesser of two evils, Carmilla pondered.

         “Are you going to classes tonight?”

         “Hmm,” Carmilla nodded, “I have philosophy from six to seven thirty.”   

          “I’m not sure Aunt Lilita would be happy with you going out in this weather.” He chimed softly, nodding toward the window. The snow was getting heavier by the hour.

        “She’ll survive. I have a paper due that I’ve been working on all week. Might as well go.” 

       “I guess Mattie would be able to pick you up if there’s an emergency,” Will mused. “What was your paper on? Charles Darwin?”

        “Charles Darwin developed the theory of evolution, pleb,” Carmilla joked. “Immanuel Kant. I had to analyze the categorical imperative, which is the theory that there is a single moral obligation—a duty—,”

      “Blah, blah, blah.” Will cut her off, grinning innocently. “When’s recess?”

       “I will push you down the stairs.”

       “Right and become out of breath the moment I slip. Then _I’ll_ have to help  _you_.” 

        She had this wonderful relationship with Will where they could often joke about her sickness and she wouldn’t feel offended by it. If he were anyone else, he’d be three feet under. But she knew Will loved her like an older sister.

    Carmilla rolled her eyes. They made it to the third floor where her room was, and Will made himself at home by flopping onto her bed. Carmilla had a very simple room. White walls, clean bedsheets. A drawer and a desk to keep her items for classes. Then, perched beside her bed, was her beloved black violin and easel. Carmilla was fascinated by the arts. She had to entertain herself somehow considering she couldn’t function outside during the daytime. So, she took up multiple activities and crafted her skill. Candle making and sewing turned out to be a fun hobby. Her room was her tiny oasis she could find herself in, without the stern glare from her mother. She pretended she was Rapunzel up in this tower, waiting for her soulmate to rescue her.

    The gender of her soulmate didn’t matter to her, though she secretly hoped they were female. Partly to spite her mother’s personal ideal, and the other because she craved to be in the romantic embrace of another woman. In the end of it all, everything relied on fate. Everything.

      Carmilla poured herself a glass of water and took out a blue pill from a small bottle. It was meant to help regulate her low blood sugar because on top of having xeroderma pigmentosum she has a hemoglobin deficiency. It wasn’t until she pulled out a needle to inject the second part to her energy boost she noticed the timer on her wrist. She was in the double digits now, with two sets of zeros frozen and the numbers ticking at a faster pace.

         “Will, look!” Carmilla gasped excitedly, shoving her arm in her cousin’s face. “Now I really _have_ to go out tonight!”

       The young boy stared in awe at the timer, as he eagerly went over to Carmilla’s laptop and searched the internet for a translation. “It says… five hours. When you bump into them, a large alarm sound could be heard and the numbers disappear. You’re so lucky. I’ve got a while to go.” Will mumbled, pushing down his left sleeve to show his timer.

       “Be patient, Will. When you know, you know.” Carmilla assured, ruffling his hair.

       He looked guilty, “I stubbed my foot so badly the other day the nail started to bleed. My soulmate must have been so alarmed when they woke up with a nasty bruise this morning from god-knows-where.”

       Carmilla chuckled. “It makes for a good story.” She then cleans up her drawer and picks up her backpack. “Now, I’ve got to go. Remember to feed Luna, okay?”  

          Luna was a cat Will and Carmilla rescued one night but kept hidden from Carmilla’s mother since pets aren’t allowed. They named her that because of the crescent-shaped white blotch on her head. (Definitely not after an anime Will was unhealthily obsessed with).

          “Where _is_ Luna,” Will pondered, feeling Carmilla’s bed sheets in case the cat was resting underneath. Then, they heard a soft mewl and the tiny creature poked its head out from behind Carmilla’s mirror.

            “There she is!” Carmilla cooed, hurrying over to scoop her up. “You be good for cousin Will, alright? I’ll be home soon.” Luna purred, rubbing her face on Carmilla’s breasts before hopping onto Will’s lap. 

          “I’m off,” She said, leaving Will with a salute. Her cousin shouted a goodbye, before falling onto the bed and cuddling with Luna.

          She made her way down the stairs and picked up an apple to eat on the way, yearning to go outside. She was almost there, the sound of her timer thudding loudly in her ears, when Mattie stopped her. 

        Carmilla huffed. “Mattie, I need to go.”

       “Where’s my goodbye kiss?” She asked gently, extending her arms.

        Carmilla stood on her tip-toes to smooch the older woman, knowing she meant well.  

    “Your mother is going on a business meeting tonight. So, you’re free to stay out later, just be back before sunrise.” Mattie warned. “Please, be safe.”

        “Thanks for the tip.” Carmilla beamed. Mattie squeezed her arm and with one last goodbye, the sheltered young woman hustled outside into the freezing cold.  

                                                                   

* * *

 

           _Beep, beep. Beep, beep. Beep, beep._

     Meanwhile, in uptown Toronto, an anxious kindergarten teacher sat at the edge of her desk, hands scribbling away in red ink. She had a movie playing on the television beside her, white noise to calm her aching nerves.

       Class had been long since over, the only other person in the elementary school being the janitor.

       In the older woman’s head, all she heard was the faint ticking of the minute hand on her clock, and the timer on her wrist.

       _Beep, beep. Beep, beep._

     She only had two more hours’ worth of writing emails and preparing for the next weeks’ lesson. She willed to keep herself together, or else everything would be for nothing. The mysterious timer on her wrist was a fickle thing, as it had the ability to jump if her soulmate was near. Which is exactly what the numbers did earlier that morning; from three days to one, something must have changed within the cosmos that the universe decided she’d be meeting the love of her life tonight.    

       Laura always wondered what her soulmate was like. Ever since she was little, she would make up stories where they would explore the world together. Where they had a gorgeous home, pets or children to take care of, and memories to make. It was a perfectly normal thing to do—as well as the role-playing games the children got up to. Though, Laura never took part in them. She was shy to admit that while most girls would imagine a husband, she longed for a wife.

       Laura had a relatively normal life. Born and raised in Toronto, Canada. Went with the same kids from elementary to high school, and few even travelled with her to college. She had two loving dads, Sherman and Bob Hollis, whom she would move the moon and the stars for. The love those two had for each other kept Laura determined to continue searching. However, she always felt as if something— _someone_ —was missing from her life. It all felt too saturated. Bland. She yearned for adventure. 

       She had a bucket list of things to do ever since she was a little girl. But because of her priorities, and practical goals, she had to put them aside.  

       Or, rather, she had to put them aside because someone was forcing her too—as she had been stuck in an unhealthy relationship for the last two years. It wasn’t meant to be something pure, or long-lasting. Danny Lawrence, high school sweetheart and human giant, didn’t love her in the way Bob loved Sherman. And that was the first red flag Laura should have caught up on.

       It was painful, cutting out this person from her life. But she had too—had she settled down with Danny, she wouldn’t have given her true soulmate the proper chance to meet her.

       (She nearly cried tears of joy when her timer changed the day Danny left. The miraculous thing reset, now giving her another chance in three years. She hadn’t told a soul about it since.)

       Something was different now. Laura could feel it in her soul, as her whole body moved with the way of the universe.

      Itching. Waiting. Hoping.

     Laura closed her eyes. She took in a deep breath and looked across her empty room. Her little chicklets had been picked up by their parents at 5 o’ clock. One special student of hers, a five-year-old by the name of Natalie Kirsch, had offered her teacher over for dinner. Her mother, SJ, was making homecooked spaghetti. Laura politely declined and promised another weekend.

    She had these papers to grade. Soulmate or no, regardless of her timer ticking to its last breath, she wanted to enjoy her upcoming weekend without the weight of these tests on her shoulders.

       Laura counted to ten.  

      There was a gentle knock on the door, causing her to jump up in alarm. “Ms. Hollis?” The janitor mumbled, “I’m closing up shop, here. I’ll leave the keys by the door for yah.”

       She slowly let out her breath.

       Laura smiled at him, “Thank you, Luis. I appreciate that.”

       “Be careful drivin’. The weatherman said we’re going to get six inches of snow.”

    “Canada winters last for too long,” Laura grumbled softly, tugging at her sleeve. “I’m tired of wearing heavy coats and sweats. For gods’ sakes, it’s March.”  

      “You and me both, ma’am,” He smiled kindly, “Good night. And take care.”

      Anxious tears prickled in the back of Laura’s eyes.   

      Laura sighed internally, placing a hand on her racing heart. She forced herself not to glance at her timer, because she knew it would do more harm than good. The friendly janitor started to whistle ‘Let it Go’ as he walked away with his broom. A smile made its way onto Laura’s lips as she bobbed along to the familiar tune, her hand scribbling even faster.

     The movie she was playing ended and rolled the credits.

     _Beep, beep. Beep, beep. Beep, beep…_

                                                              

* * *

 

 

          The seconds ached by on Carmilla’s end, as she wildly tapped her pencil onto her backpack. She couldn’t sit still. She struggled to breathe. The professor droned on about the duty of man, a subject that echoed painfully in her mind.     

       Her mind was ablaze with worrisome thoughts she dared not to voice out-loud.

      Suddenly, there was a loud ringing sound, causing Carmilla to yelp. She had presumed it was her timer, only to discover it was a student’s iPhone, and they received a message.  

   **00:00:02:30**

Two minutes. Carmilla’s timer read two minutes. Two minutes and _thirty seconds_.

  She needed to _go_.

        She looked up at her professor and attempted to speak. But no words came out. Her professor was eerily calm about it, as they glanced at the timer on her wrist, and simply nodded.

      “Class dismissed.” Those two words easily slipped off their tongue, allowing Carmilla to breathe if only for a second. Students huddled out and got ready to leave, and the raven-haired woman was out the door before she had the chance to explain herself. 

      The snow was sticking to the ground as she hurried out, a soft _crunch, crunch, crunch_ sound echoing amongst the quiet sidewalk.

     All was silent.

     Then—

     **00:00:00:00**

A piercing sound jolted Carmilla from her daze, as she felt a warm body collide into hers. She fell backwards, head foggy and aching, blindly reaching out for someone. _Anyone_.

         “Holy Hufflepuff, I’m so sorry,” The other woman squeaked, her face twisted in pain. “I-I didn’t mean to—crap, _my head hurts_ —,”

    Honey. It was the first color Carmilla was blinded with. The other woman’s honey blonde hair. Her yellow jacket. Her brown eyes widened in realization.

       “Y-you’re… you’re my soul—,” 

     Before anything could gargle its way out of Carmilla’s lips, her world faded to black.

 

* * *

 

       “…my soul… my soulmate!” Laura whimpered, checking the mysterious woman’s wrist to check that the timer has in fact turned to zero. She huffed as she struggled to hang onto the weight of the other woman’s body, bewildered as to why anyone would react this strongly. 

       “Oh… ooohkay,” She breathed, quickly checking for a pulse. There was one. Thank god she didn’t have to do mouth-to-mouth. She may be certified in CPR, but that would be moving a little TOO fast for her liking. She lifted up the other woman and carried her to a nearby bench, checking her pockets for a notebook, phone, something of identification. 

     Luckily, she did find an iPhone, and used the woman’s finger to unlock for the home-screen. Laura found it odd that on the woman’s contact information there were only four people listed—and after skimming through several conversations, she settled on her best bet.

        An alarmed voice shot through the speaker, “Kitty, it’s really late. Is everything okay? Are you on the bus? Did you get abducted by aliens? Please, Mattie’s worried sick.”

        “I… um. Uh.” This was awkward.

         Pause. “You’re not Carmilla.” 

     “I-I need help,” Laura whispered shakily, “Carmilla’s my soulmate, and she—she’s collapsed—,”

    Another voice interrupted the boy, presumably Mattie’s, “Where are you.” 

   “On the corner of 40th street and Clarke Avenue.” Laura rushed out without thinking. 

   “We’ll be there soon.” _Click._

 Laura hadn’t realized she was crying until she touched her cheeks and positioned Carmilla’s body comfortably on her lap. The other woman looked so frail and sickly—Laura worried if one false move would break her bones. Laura’s grip tightened on Carmilla’s body, rocking back and forth, head still aching with pain and her fingers burning from the cold.

      It was an adventure Laura wanted and now she had it; a sense of relief, wonderment, curiosity coursed through her. They may have gotten off to a rocky start, but Laura was determined to get to the bottom of it.

      They were soulmates, after all. For better or for worse.

 

* * *

 

             Lafontaine sat at their living room table, hunched over a crossword puzzle. They held a cup of coffee in their hands, taking a sip of it and placing it on a cup holder. They glanced outside and shook their head at the snow coming down in flurries. They hadn’t been to the lab in a week because of the heavy snow in uptown Toronto, blocking the routes where they usually travel to work. It was driving them crazy, staying at home and doing mundane things. 

         At least they had good company.

        “More coffee, sweetheart?” Perry, their lifelong girlfriend and soulmate asked.

        “No thanks. I think I’m caffeinated enough.” They smile, giving her a peck on the cheek. “Is Laura awake yet?”

        Perry’s lips curled into a frown. Laura Hollis had been their best friend since high school. Through thick and thin, they braved the harsh reality of the world beyond the mysterious soulmate timers and grew up together. She was like the sister they never got to have and knew from the start they’d be inseparable. They grew fond of her bubbly, charismatic, and chipper attitude toward life.

      Lately, it was as if Laura became a completely different person, hiding in her blanket burrito, an anxious mess because she was without her soulmate.

     It shocked Lafontaine too when Laura told them. The timer originally read ‘three more days’ they’re due to meet, but that fateful morning the dates jumped and Laura decided to stay at her elementary school and grade papers. Miraculously, she did bump into her, but for some strange reason her soulmate collapsed, and Laura refused to talk about what happened after.

      “I’ve tried.” She mumbled, “She’s so… sad.”

      “I’ve had enough of this.” Lafontaine groaned, and setting their crossword puzzle down, they stormed over to Laura’s bedroom in their shared apartment.

        “Laf, sweetie… this time is really sensitive for new soulmates. Please be gentle.” Perry called after them. The scientist grunted in return.

   Sure enough, Laura was cuddled in her blanket burrito, her once clean room a mess and the curtains drawn on her windows. That was the first thing they fixed, the sun brightening the dank room and Laura’s pained groan echoed in Lafontaine’s ears.

           “God, this place reeks. It’s like an anglerfish god took a fucking dump in here.” They mumbled, hoping to get a reaction out of their best friend. She just nuzzled further into her blankets.

          “Laur,” They began, crouching to meet her level. “Have you eaten today?”

          “Not hungry.” She sniffed, holding onto her wrist.

          “Let me see—,” They challenged, reaching out. Laura pulled back, an anxious look in her eyes.

        It was normal for the physical body to feel out of whack, and for several days after the timer goes off, the skin would start to redden and peel. Soothing ointment and alcohol usually do the trick, but the zeros don’t fade out completely until each partner commits and accepts each other’s love. The process went by differently for each person.

        “Hurts, doesn’t it?” Lafontaine eased, giving her a kind smile. Laura nodded mutely. “What happened that night, Laura? You can trust me. You know that.”   

        “I don’t even know.” She whispered quietly.

       “What do you mean, _you don’t know_? You were there.”

        “It just—it all happened so fast, okay?” She whimpered, “One moment, my chest was aching and I swore my skin was about to cut itself open and bleed. Then, I bumped into her, and before I could even get a word out, she fainted on top of me!”

        “Did you call an ambulance?” Lafontaine asked, alarmed.

        “I-I called—I think I called—,” Laura shuddered, “She only had four people listed in her phone, Laf. Who only has four people for their contact information?”  

          _That is odd,_ they mused quietly, and shook their head. “Alright, so you must have called a sister or brother.”

         “Probably. They—looked nothing like her. But this seemed to have happened before and they knew what they were doing. I piled into their car and they dropped me off here. After that, everything was sort of… blank.” She started to pick at her skin where the timer was, and Lafontaine smacked her hand. “I’m scared, Laf.”

       “I know. I was, too,” Pause, “You need to talk to her, Laura.”

       “I don’t know where she lives.” Laura explained, tears prickling in her eyes, “I-I just met my soulmate and I don’t fucking know what to do. I-I’m so worried about her.”

        Lafontaine blinked. Laura never curses. The only times she ever does -- and this was rare -- was when something gut-wrenching happened on _Doctor Who_ , like a character dying or The Doctor regenerating. Other than that, she replaces the words with things like ' _fudge_ ', ' _mother-forker_ ', or ' _holy sugar_ '. 

        “Hey. Laura, relax. Perr and I are going to help you. You won’t go through this alone.” They soothed.

         “I-I won’t?”

        “Of course not, silly. This is meant to be such an important time in your life. You deserve happiness like this to come your way,” Lafontaine held onto Laura’s hand, “We’re going to find her.”

         Laura was quiet for a moment. “What if she doesn’t want to be with me? Is… is that possible?”

        “I don’t know,” Lafontaine answered honestly, “But anyone would be an idiot if they didn’t want your love.” They hugged her, “I am serious though. You _seriously_ need to clean… everything. Or else I’ll get Perry to go all mama bear on this situation.”

           “I’m up!” Laura shrieked, pushing the bed sheets off her body, earning a chuckle from Lafontaine.

           “When you finish teaching tomorrow afternoon, we’ll start looking. Sound fair?” Laura nods. She smiles gratefully at her best friend, who helps her out of bed. They give her a loving kiss on her cheek, and lightly taps the faded timer on Laura’s wrist. “I’ll ask Perr to get some ointment for you.”

          “You’re the best, Laf.” Laura called out, as they left her bedroom. They replied back in the most mature way possible (finger guns; finger guns and a _wink_ ) and closed the door gently behind them.

          Lafontaine sighed deeply, rubbing their temples. _Sappho give them strength_.

 

* * *

 

       This was Carmilla’s favorite room.

       The large windows, overlooking her spacious backyard, and the tall ceiling helped her feel less trapped in their tiny home. She liked to think that the glass was so thin it would disappear, and taking one step forward, she’d be outside.   

     Carmilla’s personal office was her second sanctuary apart from her bedroom. Here, she also practiced her music, and she made models of the solar system. Will thought it was silly, that at her age she was still infatuated by outer space, but there was so much to learn that colleges couldn’t teach.

      Did you know that sound does not exist in space?

      Or that Saturn was so light it could float in a bath tub?

      Or that Pluto was now considered a dwarf planet?

  Carmilla’s head was full of useless facts she was dying to share with someone.

      If only the few people who knew about her existence weren’t Mattie, Will, and her mother. (They’d listen to her rants thousands of times. Carmilla painfully wondered if they even cared).

        She was in the middle of painting the Earth for her updated solar system model when there was a knock at the door, and their doorbell rang. There was anxious chattering from Mattie and Will, and Carmilla placed her paint brush down.  

        “Who could that be.” Mattie quietly mused.

        “We never get any visitors.” Will murmured.  

   Carmilla quietly crept out of her study and towards the top of the stairs, peaking at the door. She could see Mattie looking through the peephole, her face white as a sheet.

           “Leave now.” The elder woman ordered, and Carmilla’s heart thumped. 

          “I—um,” The voice belonged to honey girl’s. Carmilla recognized it immediately. How quickly she had sprung into action, questioning nothing, reaching out for help. It was an incident Mattie nor Will ever talked about, or that her mother knew about. But Carmilla knew it was bound to come up eventually. 

      “Please. I need to talk to her, she left this behind,” The girl stated boldly, puffing out her chest, and holding up Carmilla’s favorite book she dropped when they met. “I won’t stay for long. I promise.”

        “Mattie, let her in,” Will argued, “Surely we can make an exception for her?” 

         The honey girl nods, showing her bare wrist. The timer was gone. She really _was_ her soulmate.

        “Lilita said no outside guests are allowed. That _includes_ soulmates. She can’t be trusted.”

         “You can’t keep Carmilla locked in a tower forever!”

          “Mattie.” Carmilla finally found her voice. All parties glanced up at her, Mattie’s face wrought with anxiety, Will’s detesting the situation, and the girls’—her soulmates—held onto the last shred of hope she had. “May I speak to her?” She pulled out the puppy dog eyes.

         The tiny cupcake’s got spunk, Carmilla gave her that.

         “I can’t say no to that face,” Her aunt grumbled, letting the door open, “Come on in, Laura.”

      _Laura._

_Laura, Laura, Laura._

 It was a beautiful name. Sunshine was the only way Carmilla could describe her as—Laura’s outfit was all yellow, from her hair to her polka-dotted shirt to her pants. Her eyes were a deep green, though Carmilla caught some specks of blue and even brown in them. She shyly stepped forward, hand rubbing at her wrist and squeezing past Mattie and Will.  

        They stared at each other for a long moment, soaking in each other’s appearance.

        Wonder. Wonder was the perfect word to explain this moment.

   “Hey.” It was Laura who spoke first. Will ushered Mattie out of the room so they could talk in peace.

     “Hey.” Carmilla replied, just as quietly. 

     “Y-you… um, forgot this.” Laura announced, handing Carmilla the dog-teared textbook.

         “Thank you, cupcake.” She said gratefully, reaching out for it. When their wrists touched, Carmilla felt a jolt of electricity course through her and the timer on her skin fade away. Gone was the redness, the peeling skin, and the bruise it left behind. Her wrist was like it had been a week before.  

        “Wow,” Laura breathed, cautiously reaching out to touch Carmilla’s wrist, “May I?”

  The raven-haired woman nodded. 

          “That’s that, I guess,” She said in bemusement, “No going back. You’re my soulmate.”

         “I suppose I could be stuck with worse.” Carmilla teased, admiring her curves. Laura gasped, playfully shoving her and giggling. The action caused both of them to nearly topple over, but luckily Carmilla was strong enough to catch them. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

        “Likewise,” Laura beamed, and extended her hand once more, “Though, I think we should give each other a proper introduction. My name is Laura Hollis. I’m twenty-five. Favorite color, yellow. I’m a kindergarten teacher.”

      “Carmilla Karnstein,” She drawled, “Twenty. Favorite color, uhm. I suppose blue. And I’m a student. I take night courses at Silas University.” 

      “I graduated there two years ago. Top of my class.” Laura boasted.

      “How am I not surprised?” Carmilla smiled at her. She supposed the universe was on her side after all, if she was blessed with this tiny ball of sunshine to be her soulmate. Which reminded her, “H-how… are we going to do this? We’ve only just met, but um… forgive me, I’m not really prepared for all this soulmate business.”

      “Don’t worry,” Laura assured, “We’ll take things slow. Like, we’ll start by going on dates to get to know each other. First time will be on me. You pick the place, I’ll pay.”

        Carmilla could hear her mother’s warning voice in the back of her mind, “It would, um… have to be at night. I’m busy during the day.”

       “Sounds good to me. I get off work at five.”

   It all sounded too good to be true. She really did get lucky.

        “Uh. Here’s my number so you can text me anytime.” Laura stuttered, writing down her number in Carmilla’s philosophy textbook.    

       “Thank you.” Carmilla replied, grateful. Boldly, she placed a gentle, affectionate kiss on Laura’s cheek. She retreated quickly, wondering if that was appropriate, but her heart fluttered when redness consumed Laura’s entire face. It was an adorable sight.

       “Okay, uh…! Sounds great, thanks. Bye!” She barely managed, and almost tripped over herself walking down the steps.

     Mattie and Will watched the entire scene with amused expressions as the tiny cupcake bolted out the door, and Will slow-clapped dramatically.

        “Smooth, kitten. Smooth.”

      “Oh, like you can do better.” Carmilla snarled, heart hammering in her chest.

      “I could!” Idiot.

        Mattie smiled as she shook her head, going over to Carmilla and hugging her tight, “Congratulations, Carm,” She beamed, squeezing her arm, “You’ve found your match.”

        Carmilla let go of a breath she hadn’t realized she kept in. She did. _She really did_.

 

* * *

 

   Sherman Hollis was a simple man.

   He loved his daughter.

   He loved his husband. (Who loved trains and baseball and turtle neck sweaters probably more than life itself).

        They weren’t poor, but they weren’t rich. They lived comfortably. But to Sherman, he had everything in this world could offer. And soon, his heart warmed when he thought about how his own daughter would have everything too.

      Sherman noticed the change in Laura’s behavior when she visited for brunch last weekend. Her eyes sparkled with excitement, the dark circles under her eyes gone, her hair seemed lighter, and she was more cuddly than usual. The real difference was the timer on Laura’s wrist, as it was now gone without a trace of its existence.

        Laura had tried to play it normal, at first, not to raise suspicion from her fathers.

      Sherman knew his daughter—she was terrible at lying.

              “Something looks different about you,” Bob Hollis mused as their daughter helped set the table. “Did you get a new haircut?”

           “Thanks for reminding me, but nope.” Laura replied. 

            “Did you… get a facial?” 

     Laura shook her head, giggling.

               “Hmm,” Bob narrowed his eyes, taking a step closer. “You’ve lost weight. Have you been on a new exercise routine?”

            “Guess again.”  

      Sherman leaned into his husband, a smug look on his face. “Check her wrist.”

              “Dad!” Laura squeaked, tugging at her sleeve. “Why would you check my wrist?” 

              “C’mere, you.” Bob coaxed, running over to her and tickling her sides. Laura put up a fight, giggling like mad, surrendering to her father and extending her wrist. Bob’s eyes glazed over and he sniffled. “Oh, honeybunch…”

             “I met her a few days ago, papa,” Laura sniffed, “I wanted to tell you as soon as possible, but then I had work, and—,”

           “No apologies necessary, pumpkin. What’s she like?” Bob asked, eyes giddy with excitement.

            Laura smiled softly, “Pale skin, silky raven hair, leather pants and jacket, heavy boots. She has piercings and a tattoo of a rose on her chest. But her eyes…” She placed a hand over her heart, “I felt like I’ve seen those eyes before. Like in a whisper of a dream. They were so dark, unlike anything I’ve known.”        

        “So, she’s a punk, then. Great. Your soulmate is a punk.” Sherman teased. “Or a vampire.”

        “Now Sher, we’re very accepting and open in this family. We shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.”

         “Oh please, whoever invented that saying has never read a book.” Sherman grumbled.

        Laura looked between her dads and laughed.

       “When do you see her next, love?” Bob asked.

      “Hopefully this weekend. I’ll pick her up when she finishes her philosophy class.” Laura then tugged at the sleeve of her shirt, “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous, papa.”

     “Just be yourself, Laura. Everything will fall into place from there. The universe chose the two of you for a reason, after all. You just need to figure out why that is.” Sherman explained, squeezing her shoulder and pecking his daughter’s cheek. “I love you.”

        “I love you too, dad.”

        “Hello, my name is chopped liver.” Bob grumbled.  

   Laura giggled, extending her arms so she could hug the both of them, “I love you most, papa.”

         “That’s my girl!” He cheered. Sherman let a content sigh escape his lips. Everything that he ever loved is right here. _Everything_.  

 

* * *

 

            Sunny and bright colors reminded Carmilla of Laura, as she was the human embodiment of it. The honey girl was on her mind every waking second of the day.

           Carmilla found herself texting Laura every chance she got, in between piano and violin lessons. Whenever she needed a break from building her models. Or even when she woke up in the morning. Sometimes it’d be a simple “hey”, or other times she’d send Laura a motivational quote. It marveled Carmilla that the tiny woman dealt with raging five-year-old children on the daily, and she still had enough energy to go out with friends in the evening.

        It was a little intimidating to Carmilla, having a soulmate that’s five years her senior. Laura was a fully functioning adult, living on her own with her job and a supportive family unit. Mattie assured her that sometimes soulmates moved at different paces; that at some point, her and Laura will be able to meet each other halfway and Carmilla will feel comfortable in her own skin.

      Right now, they were in the early stages of their relationship—so of course they’d both be nervous. But trying to make this work rather was better than nothing, and Carmilla, for the first time in her life, was ready to dive all in. It helped that they were growing fond of each other. 

        They’d agreed to have dinner at _The Anglerfish_ , a cute retro diner that was coincidentally one of Laura’s favorite places, owned by a pair of sisters.

        Carmilla had no idea what to wear, and she hoped that what she eventually picked out fit the occasion. (She was shy to admit that tears spilled out of her eyes while getting ready because she was so anxious, and Mattie had to calm her down).

        Needless to say, her worries were gone when she saw Laura waiting outside room 307, wearing a cute white blouse that left one shoulder bare and matching skirt. Some of the students did a double take as they passed by them, but they went ignored. She held a beautiful, single rose between her fingers - like the one tattooed on her chest. 

       “Hi there,” Carmilla spoke first, cheeks reddening. “You look, uh. You look…”

       “Am I overdressed?” Laura asked shyly. 

       “You look great.” Carmilla replied.

       "Here - for you." She spoke, urging Carmilla to take the gift. 

       Carmilla beamed. Shyly, she reached out for Laura’s rose and put it in her hair. Carmilla marveled at how easily their hands fit into each other’s.

      It was a quiet walk to _The Anglerfish_ , as both parties were nervous and mulling over their own worries. The raven-haired woman let out a breath, feeling overwhelmed, but she didn’t want Laura to notice.

     Unluckily (or luckily) for her, Laura did, and gently squeezed her shoulder. “We can turn back now, if you want.” Laura urged softly, “I know that you… don’t get out much. We can reschedule.”

        Carmilla smiled gratefully, “It’s not that,” She chuckled weakly, “This is my first time on a date with a beautiful girl. I don’t want to screw this up.”

        Laura giggled, swinging their hands together to the beat of the universe. “You’re acing this so far. Don’t worry about it.”

        Carmilla smiled and opened the door to _The Anglerfish_ diner, allowing Laura to head in first.

         “Such a gentle-woman.” She teased, pecking Carmilla on the cheek.

        “Laura!” An excited voice chimed, belonging to young woman dressed in an old-timey dress, “It’s good to see you.”

         “Hi, Charlotte,” The honey girl chirped, “Table for two.”

        “Of course. Right this way!”

    Carmilla drifted closer to Laura’s side, letting the other woman guide them to their table. “Emily will be your waiter.”

          “I’ve known those two since high school. And we all worked at Medieval Times a few summers ago. Fair warning, don’t get between Charlotte Bronte and a sword, or her soulmate Mel, who unexplainedly has an arrow on hand. There’s a ninety-five percent chance you’ll lose a limb.” Laura explained, causing Carmilla to laugh.

       This wasn’t something Carmilla was used to doing—Laura was right about that. But she found herself having fun. Laura helped her feel safe, and even though their relationship was only just starting, she had decided right then that (soulmate or not) she wanted Laura to be in her life. Every so often, Laura would check up on Carmilla to see how she was holding up; whether she pat Carmilla’s knee, or her wrist, Carmilla’s heart fluttered nonetheless.

        They talked about everything and anything. Carmilla’s obsession with space. The kids Laura teaches in her class. Their hopes, dreams, goals for the future. Practical things that a new couple would typically talk about on their first date.

     However, the evening took a turn when Carmilla noticed Laura stiffen, and from the corner of her eye, a gargantuan woman with ginger hair step into the diner. She was not expecting a ghost from her own past to appear by her side.

    She noticed her soulmate had stopped eating.

       “Laur, you okay?”

       “Suddenly I’ve lost my appetite.” The older woman squeaked.

   Carmilla reached out to grasp her hand. Her gaze flickered to the ginger’s, and realized they’d better get out of this situation before it gets worse.

       “Hi, I’d like the check please.” Carmilla called over to Emily, who nodded.

       Laura’s eyes were grateful, as she grew quiet, a different change in her compared to how they started out the night.  

       The check thankfully came, and leaving a hearty tip, Carmilla grasped Laura’s hands with the intent of leaving without a quarrel.

        A hand reached out to stop Laura before they made it out the door. “Hey. I almost didn’t recognize you.” The ginger said. 

        Carmilla swallowed thickly, tightening her grip on Laura’s arm. “Hello, Elle.” She muttered to the other woman, who seemed shocked that her old flame addressed her.

       “You look great, Laura.” The air between them was palpable.   

      “Danny, small talk is the last thing I want to do with you right now.” Laura hurried out.

    Ah. So that’s what the beanstalks’ name is. Laura never mentioned anything about an ex.

            “Well, when else are we going to talk? You shut me out, Laura.”

           “For good reason!” The cupcake snapped, causing the other patrons to look up. “You pretended you were this person meant for me. But when it wasn’t written in the stars, you turned into this controlling beast that I hardly recognized.” 

           “Laura, I did all those things because I loved you,” Danny said, a pained expression on her face, “Regardless if our timers matched or not, I wanted you in my life.”

            “Not like this,” Laura growled, “You didn’t love me. You loved the idea of me. You became so fascinated with that ideal you tried to recreate that in our bed with someone else!” Laura spat, finally addressing the other woman besides Danny.  

          The other woman sighed, “Well now, I can see why she chose me instead. You never respected her or accepted the love she gave you.” She then gave Carmilla an evil look, “And you’re no better. She’s only going to get her heart broken if she’s prancing around with you.”

          Carmilla’s nails dug into her palms at the jab.   

          Laura choked back a sob, her body shaking, “You two deserve each other.”

   She ran out of the diner, into the snowy streets of uptown Toronto.

           “Laura!”

     The smaller woman held onto her wrist. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

         “You can’t control my life anymore, Elle. If you’ll excuse me, I need to look after my soulmate.” The gaping mouths in response to what she said was worth the pain this conversation was.

          Emily nearly snapped her pencil in half, and stormed over, confronting Elle and Danny, "I think it's time for you folks to leave. Get out of my diner."  

          Carmilla hurried outside, reaching out blindly for Laura and pulling her close. Laura’s gentle sobs broke Carmilla’s heart as she comforted her. “Hey. Hey, you’re okay. You’re not there anymore—you’re here. With me. Come back to me, darling.” 

         “I’m sorry I ruined our date.” She whimpered, burying her face in Carmilla’s shoulder.  

         “No, you didn’t,” Carmilla chuckled, “Exes are like that sometimes. We’ll raincheck this one, okay?”

         “Okay.” Laura whispered, taking a deep breath.

    They were quiet the rest of the walk to Laura’s apartment, but neither girl minded. Carmilla quickly explained what happened to the ginger twins—she got their names, but quickly forgot them—and they immediately understood. They thanked Carmilla, and promptly shut the door in her face. 

     Carmilla sighed and let her shoulders slump. Having a soulmate was a messy affair, why wasn’t there a manual to warn her of this?

 

* * *

 

      Carmilla was thankful that the Ex Incident, as they fondly called it, hadn’t stopped the two soulmates from talking to each other. It had the opposite effect, where they’d text each other for hours into the night, and they’d both end up sleep deprived in the morning because neither girl wanted to waste a second. It was new, exciting, and scary, and it was Carmilla’s little secret—because her mother still didn’t know. Whether she questioned the change in Carmilla’s behavior or not, for the first time in her life Carmilla didn’t care.

       It was one small act of rebellion—letting another person in her life—that she thrived on, and god only knows what her mother would do if she found out.    

      **Cupcake:** _hey. can I call you?_  

       Carmilla’s phone dinged just as she finished coloring the rings on Saturn and threw it up in the air tentatively. She caught it, and thankfully this time it stayed together. (She used an unhealthy amount of rubber bands and toothpicks to create this model). Only three more planets to go (arguably, at least; there were still some people out there convinced Pluto isn’t a planet). She then remembers she isn’t alone and catches eyes with her mother, who has her reading glasses on and is looking at a magazine. Lilita stares curiously at her daughter, who quickly debates what she should do.    

     **Carm:** _not right now. Later, sweetheart._

     **Cupcake:** _okay *sad face emoji*_

     **Carm:** _what’s up? Besides the ceiling._

     **Cupcake:** _hah, ha. what do you think? Pink or yellow?_  
_ <_ **sends photo attachment** _>_

      Carmilla swallowed thickly. She personally hated pastels but was certain both dresses would look lovely on Laura.  

 **Cupcake:** _I’m out shopping with Lafontaine and Perry and I think I lost them at the Disney store._

    **Carm:** _good. Leave them there._

    **Cupcake:** _Carmilla! I’d have to get them back eventually._

    **Carm:** _that’s a shame._

    **Cupcake:** _you’re a despicable human being._

    **Carm:** _you flatter me, sweetheart._

    The creampuff didn’t reply at first and sends her another photo of her wearing the yellow dress. Judging by the way her cheeks flushed at the sight of it, this one was a winner in Carmilla’s mind.

    **Carm** : _I vote yes on the yellow._

    **Cupcake:** _you know what, I think I’ll get both. Thanks, Carm._

    The young woman hated being called “Carm”. She shot down Will if he ever tried, and she had no idea where he got “kitty” from, since that nickname was even worse. But when Laura called her that? It caused her heart to flutter in an indescribable way.

   **Carm:** _whatever. Anything else I could help you with?_

   **Cupcake** : _no. I just needed an excuse to talk to you._

   Carmilla swooned. Laura was sweet—and still ridiculously apologetic after how their first date went. She knew it was out of their control, that what are the odds both their exes showed up at the same diner at the same time. 

     **Carm:** _that’s cute. You missed me._  

     **Cupcake:** _I DID NOT._

  Carmilla quietly chuckled.

          “What’s so funny there?”

          “Um, nothing,” Carmilla uttered, giving her a smile. Lilita smiled back, closing her book and going over to give her daughter an affectionate kiss. She ruffled her hair and commented on how wonderful the model is coming along, before heading out. Luna poked her head from her perch on top of the closet and hopped down, making herself comfortable on Carmilla’s lap.

       For the first time since her mother walked into the room, Carmilla finally allowed herself to breathe.  

 

* * *

 

            Laura sighed as she leaned her back against the wall of the movie theatre, tired after a long day of work. She was originally meant to be here with Charlotte and Mel, but they had a family emergency to take care of. Lafontaine and Perry were out of the picture because they were pulling long hours at the lab. 

       It didn’t help that she was getting cramps that morning, and her menstrual cycle started on her way to the theatre. She had to make a frenzied dash to the nearest CVS to clean herself up. Now here she is, stranded with nothing better to do, her stomach hurting and she’s on the verge of tears.

        She decided to call someone. It was a longshot but hearing their voice would soothe her.

        “Carm?” Laura breathed out with relief, once her soulmate picked up after the two rings.

        “ _Hey, sweetheart_ ,” She crooned, her voice laced with sleep.

        “Where you—I—who the hell takes a nap at 5:00pm?”

    There was a soft chuckle on the other line. 

         “ _I don’t have classes on Fridays, cupcake. I’m free to do whatever the hell I want and catch up on sleep. I swear I was a vampire in a past life_.”

        “That would make… perfect sense,” Laura mumbled, and lets out a pained sigh. She wrapped her arms tightly around her stomach.

       “ _Hey, everything alright?_ ” Laura tried to speak when her voice only came out as a pained whimper and tears threatened to fall down her cheeks. “ _Aw, Laura. Did you have a bad day?_ ”

        “I really hate to ask you this. B-because I don’t want to be a bother… but I really need someone right now.”

        “ _That’s fair. Where are you? I’ll be there as fast as I can._ ”

        “You just woke up, Carm. You don’t have to do this for me.”

        “ _But I want to_.” Carmilla’s voice was bemused, as she chuckled lightly.

        “Okay.” Laura relented, and rattled off the address of the movie theatre. Carmilla assured she’d be there in thirty minutes and promised to stay on the line so Laura could tell her about her day. 

         

       Like a knight in shining black leather, Carmilla appeared at the front door with Tylenol and a hug for Laura. The tiny creampuff happily accepted her affection, swooning at how Carmilla dropped everything to comfort her.   

       “Do you ever just have those days where you could escape for a couple of hours, go anywhere you want and be whoever you want to be?” Laura sighed, burying her face in Carmilla’s shoulder.

       “I would love to go to Paris.” The raven-haired woman suggested, and Laura giggled.

        “Movies. I was talking about the movies,” She replied, pinching Carmilla’s cheek, “But Paris sounds lovely.” Carmella sighed heavily.   

        “Hey. What’s playing?”

        “I heard _Love, Simon_ is really good. It’s an alternate reality where a closeted boy comes out to his parents. No timers involved. But, it’s received positive reviews from critics.”

         “I can’t imagine a world without timers or soulmates. Do you think we’d still find each other?” 

       “I’d like to think so.” Laura mused, peppering a kiss on Carmilla’s cheek. She loved how easy it was to make the younger woman blush. Carmilla smirked and linked arms with her, as they got tickets for the movie and popcorn.

* * *

 

        Carmilla _loved_ it. She had read the book ages ago and all the memories came flooding back to her as she reconnected with Simon again. The loving and accepting relationship he had with his mother made her heart clench in despair, as she realized with cruel reality she’ll never have that same relationship with her own mother. If Carmilla ever came out that she had a soulmate, she would be disowned, or worse.  

    “ _You are still you, Simon. You are still the same son who I love to tease, and who your father depends on for just about everything. And you’re the same brother who always complements his sister on her food, even when it sucks. But you get to exhale now, Simon. You get to be more you than you have been in, in a very long time. You deserve everything you want_.”

     She openly wept. She realized in that moment, she wasn’t free. That she felt the smallest and the most trapped she’s ever been. She wanted to experience things normal young girls her age did. And most of all, she wanted to go out in the sun. 

     But she couldn’t. If only she was capable of doing all those things. If only she could have everything, without the risk of losing every single thing.  

 

* * *

 

         Laura cautiously eyed Carmilla, who’s been quiet ever since they arrived at The Anglerfish. No—not… quiet. Tired. Solemn. Her shoulders sagged as if they carried the weight of the world.  

     Laura reached out to grasp Carmilla’s shaking hand. “Now you may think you’ve mastered the art of silent tears, because of your dark and broody aesthetic,” She told her gently, eyes full of patience, “I saw you crying during that movie, Carmilla.”    

      “I never cry at movies. My real life is tragic enough,” Carmilla let out a breath, “Laura, there’s something that I need to tell you in confidence. It’ll… cause you to think differently of me… and that’s completely fine… but I want to trust you with this information. But _fuck._ I’m so scared and tired.” Carmilla’s lips trembled, “I don’t want to lose you.”

      “Take it easy, Carm. I promise, you’re not going to lose me,” Laura assured, patting Carmilla’s hand. “Deep breaths.”

         Carmilla did what she was told, taking a big swig of water.

         There was a beat of silence.

         Then—

        “Oh my god, are you pregnant?” Laura squeaked, making Carmilla choke on her drink, and laugh embarrassedly.

     “T-that’s not—physically possible for me,” She choked, “Oh god. No, I’m not pregnant. _Christ,_ Laura.”

        “Well, good. Because it’d be really awkward flirting with a pregnant girl.” Laura winked, and Carmilla relaxed her shoulders. Carmilla gave her a tiny smile.

         “S-someday. It’d be nice to… have that with you. Not right now. But I’d like to experience that with you in the future.” Carmilla rambled.

         “Second date and we’re already talking about kids,” Laura shook her head, beaming. “You’re something else, Karnstein.”

          “I feel like I’ve known you for years,” Carmilla whispered, holding onto both of Laura’s hands now. Laura nodded, silently agreeing. “Which is why this makes it so much harder.”

          “Take your time, baby.” Laura insisted. She rubbed her fingers on Carmilla’s knuckles.

            The raven-haired woman swallowed thickly, focusing on how Laura was gently caressing her knuckles.   

       “You know how Simon’s mom… told him that he used to be this carefree kid, and at one point, he stopped being that kid because he was hiding his secret?” Carmilla asked. Laura nodded. “I loved someone once. Who loved me. And my mother destroyed it. One day… my mother caught us in the same bed. And she told her… on by behalf… that I’m…” Tears blurred Carmilla’s vision, but she pressed onward, “I can’t go out into sun. If one ray touches my skin, I _die_. I have xeroderma pigmentation.”  

      The tears that Laura had been holding in for Carmilla’s sake came at full force now, as she left her corner of the booth to embrace her soulmate.   

      “A freak, Laura. The woman I once loved called me a freak, a monster, when she found out. I never saw her again. My mother said I was… deviant. That she left me for good reason.”  

       Laura shook, “She abandoned you because of something your body can’t control? And she took your mother’s word over yours?”

      Carmilla sobbed, “I don’t blame her. She’s right.”

      “That's bull!” Laura cursed. “Carm, you’re not loveless.”  She grabbed Carmilla’s shoulders and shook her, “You’re not deviant. You’re _sensational._ ”

        A tiny giggle made its way from her lips. Then, a snort. And soon, she was doubled over in hysterical laughter, crying tears of joy, clutching onto Laura as if she were a safety belt. Someone thought she was _sensational_.    

        Laura was laughing with her.

        When they both finally calmed, the diner was empty, but neither girl realized.

       Carmilla wiped her eyes, “You’re not worried about how we’ll spend the rest of our lives together?”  

        “Everyone’s lives move at different paces. We’re no different. But none of that matters—this. Right now. This is what matters,” Then, determined, “Whatever happens next, we’re going to get through it together.”

          “Together it is.” Carmilla agreed. Her heart swelled with warmth, as her gaze flickered to Laura’s lips, and leaned in close. Laura’s breath hitched, as she was so ready to go all in with this, until a disgruntled cough broke their spell.   

          “I hate to be that person, but you’re the last two in my diner, and I’d like to get home.” Emily Bronte grumbled, tapping on her watch.

       Laura blinked, glancing around the diner to discover it was indeed empty, and past ten o’ clock.  

        “Right. Um. Sorry.” She squeaked, wiping her eyes and grabbing Carmilla’s shoulder, “Let’s go, Carm.”

          “Lead the way.” She quipped, leaving a tip on the table, eyeing a bemused Charlotte who was shaking her head. As they stepped out of the diner and into the quiet streets of Toronto, Carmilla felt lighter than she had in months.  

          An excited whooping sound escaped her lips, and Laura followed quickly after, throwing her hands up.

 

* * *

 

           They made it work. It was a miracle and a half, but Carmilla and Laura formed a tight bond as the months passed. One could really not be seen without the other. Mattie wasn’t on board at first, but even the Ice Queen herself was a victim to Laura’s charms and quirky behavior, that they became fast friends. Carmilla often joked that Mattie should have been Laura’s soulmate instead, because she always asks about her.

       Will, of course, was the number one Hollstein (he combined Laura and Carmilla’s names together) shipper from the very beginning and would vouch for his cousin whenever Lilita became frustrated with her.  

        Things were looking up. She had a supportive soulmate, who reminded her every day that she is not deviant or loveless. She felt that for once in her life she was actually living it, no longer this empty shell of a person. 

         Laura made sure that Carmilla was only in Lilita’s presence unless she desperately needed to—and they had a code word if her mother became too stressful to bear. 

         It wasn’t long until Carmilla met the infamous Sherman and Bob Hollis—they were lovely and welcomed her into their home. Carmilla never had a father figure in her life, because her biological one walked out when she was very young, so going from zero to two filled her heart with warmth and hope.

        They adored her so much, in fact, that they eagerly showed Carmilla Laura’s baby pictures much to the kindergarten teacher’s horror.

         (“Did she really try to start a kindergarten uprising?” Carmilla had asked, biting her lip. Bob Hollis grinned.

     “Yes! And there she was, pig-tails and all, and said, ‘I have proof, Mr. Vice-Principal, that you have been embezzling from the fourth-grade candy-gram fund’!” Carmilla cackled.

       “You’re kidding me.”

        “He had to resign.” Sherman wheezed. “In fact, there was a picture of her in the local newspaper I think I still have in my wallet—,”

        Laura, appearing with a tray of ice tea from around the corner now, “Uh, dad? What are you—”

       “We’re just showing Carmilla some photos.” Bob smirked.  

       Laura paled considerably. “Some baby—Oh god, this is what an aneurysm feels like.”)

       Her beautiful soulmate was grumbling all the way home, face flushed and embarrassed, only calming down when Carmilla pressed an affectionate kiss on her cheek and told her she had a wonderful time.

       Shortly after meeting the cupcakes' parents, she met Laura’s childhood friends—or comically put, The Scooby Gang.

       (Kirsch, his wife SJ, Charolette, her soulmate Mel, Emily, Lafontaine, and Perry. Carmilla felt out of place in the sea of ginger.) 

       “Stop being a grump. Admit it, you had fun!” Laura chirped after a night out, wrapping her arm around Carmilla’s shoulder.

       “Your friends are strange. Science Nerd wouldn’t stop poking me with a needle. Overgrown Puppy called me a ‘hottie’, Mary Sue kept on staring at me as if I’m going to combust. I’m just deathly allergic to sunlight, not the _air._ ”

      “People interreact with you for one hour and it’s the end of the world. Don’t fight it. People care about you. Oh, the humanity!”

     “You’re lucky you’re cute, otherwise I wouldn’t be dragged along like this.”

      Laura coughed, “Whipped.”  

      Carmilla gasped in shock, shoving Laura playfully, but she couldn’t fight the smile forming on her lips and silently agreed. She was starting to grow feelings for her soulmate. They nestled deep within her chest, growing ever so slightly, and she didn’t fight it.

         She had a reason to wake up in the morning. Her very own pocket of sunshine. And she swore to herself nothing will ever take that away from her.  

 

* * *

 

          Solemn and mournful, Carmilla woke up. Her bones were sore and her head was pounding. She was exercising the night before, having a personal goal to get in shape. But she should know better not to over-exert herself too much.

          Any normal person would usually feel sad during the winter time. The lack of sun and changing season would put a wrench in any plans they had. But for Carmilla, the moment it became warm and sunny, she became grumpy and irritable instead.

       It was Friday. But not any other Friday. Friday, May 25th. It was her birthday. She turned twenty-one today.  

       Birthdays were a somber occasion in the Karnstein household. They were never celebrated. Lilita found it childish, deciding that it was just another day in the year. Too much noise in the household would cause suspicion, and she couldn’t risk anyone discovering her beloved Carmilla.  

      The joke was on her.

      Right under her nose, Carmilla and her soulmate found each other here.

      Carmilla breathed out a gentle sigh, Laura’s name tumbling off her lips.

       There was a knock at her door, startling her.

      “Carmilla dear, I’m heading out.”

       “Mother?” She asked groggily, sitting up.

       “I’ll be home late. You know the usual routine. Mattie has your breakfast ready.”

          “Mother—I was wondering. If—maybe. Hopefully. You could stay, and—we would hang out today.” Carmilla tried. She knew it was a weak effort.

          “Then I would have to cancel all my important meetings, darling. And my clients would be very upset. What was it you had planned, dear?”

           Carmilla started to speak, but she mumbled something unintelligible.

           “Speak up, darling. I cannot hear you if you mumble.”

            “It’s, um, kind of my twenty first birthday. I was hoping you could stay.” Carmilla wondered, her pleading gaze steady on her mother’s.

            Shock was evident on Lilita’s face. “That’s strange. I remember your birthday just last year.”

           “That’s the—that’s the thing about birthdays, it’s kind of an annual occurrence.”

        Her mother sighed, acting as if she’d asked for a favor impossible to comprehend. “Birthday or no, I cannot stay my glittering girl. I need to head to a meeting.”

           “I—,” Carmilla let out a sigh. “Nothing. It was wrong of me to request that of you.”

          “Very well then.” Lilita smiled, and blowing her a kiss, shut the door behind her.

           The young woman waited until she heard her mother’s heels disappear out the front door and she screamed into her pillow, heart hurting and tears threatening to fall down her cheeks. 

         Weakly, after she cried herself out, she grabbed her telephone and texted one word, ‘ _stars’_ , to the only woman who really cared for her in this life.

 

* * *

 

          Laura thought fast. She wasn’t sure how she managed to do it, but she ordered a cake and present for Carmilla a second after her soulmate called her crying. Her heart ached, and she knew she couldn’t just sit around the whole day doing nothing after hearing that.

         The second she left work she texted Lafontaine and told them she won’t be coming home tonight. A part of her wondered if she was thinking irrationally, that she should leave Carmilla be and that she was intruding, but Laura knew she would never forgive herself if she did nothing.

         The lights were off in the Karnstein house except for the top floor, and a key was left behind underneath the door mat. Laura parked her Subaru beside a bush, hoping that on the ride here the present and cake wasn’t squished.     

        She took a deep breath and exhaled, fiddling with the keys provided to open the door. “Carmilla?” She called softly, but no response came. The house was silent.

       Something furry brushed against her leg and she let out a shriek, almost dropping the gifts for her soulmate. She turned on the lights, getting into a fighting position, only to find out that a tiny black cat was in her presence.  

      “Hello you sweet thing,” Laura cooed, admiring the moon shaped spot on her head. She internally chastised herself for being so easily spooked. “Where’s Carmilla?”

     The cat meowed and swished its tail back and forth. Laura decided that following this cat was a great idea as it leads her up the large spiral stair case. The cat paused by a black door, where Laura almost couldn’t see the thing had it not been for its beautiful green eyes. She heard a quiet, sad sniffle and knew it was her soulmate.

       “Carmilla?” She asked, gently knocking on the door. “It’s me. Laura. May I come in?” 

        A soft meow came from the cat’s lips and pushed the door open with its head.

   The raven-haired woman lay as a blanket burrito in her bed, covers sprawled around her body and her once clean room a mess. 

         Then, Carmilla’s soft and tired voice came through to her, “Am I a good person, Laura?”

    The honey girl’s heart broke. “Of course, you are sweetheart.”    

         “Then why am I being tortured like this?” Carmilla huffed, burying her face into her pillow. “I don’t like being sick, Laura.”

            Swallowing, Laura boldly placed the two presents on Carmilla’s desk and climbed into bed with her, rubbing soothing circles on her back. “Tell me what to do. How can I help?”

            “Hold me.” Was all she said, and Laura did. They lay together for a few moments.

      “What are you doing here?” Carmilla’s voice broke the silence.    

       Laura’s shoulders sagged, “You texted me ‘stars’ and that’s our safe word, Carm. I called Mattie and she warned me about today. I figured you’d… want some company. I got something for you.”

     Carmilla sniffed, cautiously peeking her head out from the covers, “You didn’t have to do that, cupcake.”

      “Well, we are friends, aren’t we?” Laura asked, shyly tucking a piece of hair behind her ears. “I definitely feel something for you, though I’m not exactly sure what it is yet. All I know is that I think about you often and I care about your well-being and happiness.” 

       “I think about you too.” Carmilla admits, cheeks flushing red.

     Laura beamed. “Now that we’ve established that, get your lazy ass up so you can open up your presents.” Carmilla was about to protest, when Laura raised her finger, “And don’t even bother arguing. I threw away the receipt so I can’t return them.”

        Carmilla grumbled, partially because she would have preferred to sleep all evening, and the other is that her soulmate is too good for this world and deserves a medal. She turned on her floor light to admire Laura’s figure as she got up and walked to her desk, noticing that she carried a small pastry box in one hand a square one wrapped in a nice bow in the other. 

          “Happy birthday, Carm.” Laura handed her the present in her left hand.  

          Swallowing thickly, Carmilla carefully took apart the wrapping paper and gasped as to what was inside.

          “A little birdie told me you loved philosophy. I wanted to do something nice for you, since that was your favorite, and I felt bad that it tore because of me—,”

          “Creampuff, it’s perfect. I love Scanlon. I missed reading this because it’s so torn at the edges. Of course, it's not your fault at all. This is so thoughtful, thank you.” Tears glistened in Carmilla’s eyes. She traced the bolded letters of _What We Owe To Each Other,_ heart fluttering with warmth.  

          Laura giggled, and cautiously opened the other box, “I hope you like cookie cake.”

          Carmilla’s eyes widen in excitement. “I don’t get to eat sugar in this house because of mother. Where did you get it?”

          “The bakery that’s a block away from my job. Luckily I got to them just as they were closing up.” Laura beamed, “Are we going to eat like Neanderthals or are you going to show me where the utensils are?”  

         “Alright, okay. I’m getting up.” Carmilla grumbled, reaching out her hand for Laura to take. She paused, only for a moment. “Do I owe you anything in return?” 

          Laura leaned in and placed a loving kiss on her palm, “You owe me nothing. That’s kind of the way birthdays work—you receive presents, not be expected to give them. Being yourself is good enough.”     

          “Okay.” She breathed, and that was that. 

           The rest of the evening went by like something out of a fairytale novel. Laura was a saint, taking care of Carmilla and distracting her from all her pain. They made a blanket fort and braided each other’s hair and painted each other’s nails. After they finished the cookie cake they had a Harry Potter marathon and made a mess of kettle popcorn. Luna snuggled comfortably in between them. Carmilla wasn’t shy about showing Laura her solar system models and was delighted by Laura’s positive response.

     (Carmilla may not believe in a heaven or a hell, but this was close to heaven.)

     She wasn’t sure what time it was when the festivities drew to a close or when Laura carried her back into bed (the creampuff was quite strong for her small physique), but her heart definitely felt much lighter than it had that morning. She felt Laura place light, gentle kisses on her tattoo and just for a moment, the loudness of the universe was finally quiet.   

 

* * *

 

      It all seemed like a dream, that Carmilla was so happy. She had to pinch herself most days, on the mornings where Lilita’s teachings were long and boring. On the days where she became so lost in her own mind she forgot that she deserved better than this. It’s a life she’s become accustomed to—a life people like Elle didn’t understand, and would try anything to ruin her for no reason.

       However, there were some kind people in the world, little pockets of sunshine like Laura, the honey girl who saved her. And she held onto that, putting that warmth close to her chest, keeping the memory of her soulmate close.   

      They’ve set up a schedule that both girls easily fit into, much to their own surprise. They made time for each other, and while there were some days they hardly spoke, they were floating around in each other’s minds. Laura expressed interest in learning about Philosophy, since she’s never taken a course in college.

      Carmilla readily agreed, setting up a mock classroom in her room, a place where Lilita never goes to visit. It’s the one escape she has, even in a home that she’s trapped in. Teaching Laura ethics gives Carmilla a purpose, as she now has a mission.

    Carmilla teaches Laura scenarios from many great philosophers, and is able to draw illusions to her real life. Her young cousin Will is a very indecisive character; he struggles with deciding, and panics if he feels he picked the wrong thing. (Whether it be between wearing a green hat or blue hat, having cereal or oatmeal for breakfast, or reading Harry Potter or the Hunger Games).  This situation is echoed through one of Plato’s many dialogues, that a person—like Will—who rejects morality can be reasoned into making a moral and sound decision. 

     “Alternatively, you can look at it this way,” Carmilla explained, “Aristotle’s idea of morality is like learning a musical instrument. The more you practice actively, the better you become.” She then grins and places two of her solar system crafts, one built similar to Galileo’s model, where the Sun is in the center. Then she places one right next to it, with the Earth at the center—the Geocentric model, designed by Copernicus.

     “Will. If you had to choose one of these to hang in your room, which one would it be?”

      The young boy glares at Carmilla, hands fidgeting as he scrunches up his nose. Laura giggles.

      “Both of these are incorrect models,” He points to the Earth that was made out of tissue paper and modeling clay, “The Earth is supposed to be flat.”

       Laura burst out laughing.

       “Get out, Will!” She groaned. "I do not have the tolerance for flat-earthers and yuppy generation-z kids!" 

       “Woo, lunch time! Neither of you are invited!”

       “You were never welcome here in the first place!” Carmilla yelled back as the door slammed shut behind him.  

         Laura smiled, getting up from her seat on the couch to wrap her arms around Carmilla’s neck. “Will’s right, you know. Maybe we should take a break,” A smirk plays at the corner of her lips, “You’re irritable when you’re hungry.”

         “What? But we’re hardly finished with the lesson—,” Her stomach growled on cue, making Laura giggle. “Oh, fine. Did you… um, enjoy yourself today?”

           “I did, thank you. I look forward to these lessons. I’m learning about Philosophy and in turn, I teach you about pop culture and fandoms.”

           In the late evening hours, Carmilla falls asleep to Laura’s soothing voice reading her the Harry Potter and Chronicles of Narina series. She’s a wonderful storyteller, and even though she’s read each book thousands of times, she doesn’t become impatient when Carmilla asks a question about something she doesn’t understand. When they have time, Laura shows her funny videos and memes related to the fandom or artwork someone has created, so Carmilla could understand the wizarding world a little better. 

            The only thing she was ever allowed to read was philosophy and health science textbooks. A boring life, she realized. Laura helped her understand she deserved better, even with her disease.

            Carmilla watches Laura’s face shift, as a thought crosses her mind. “What’s up?” She asked, taking a piece of hair out of her eyes. 

            “You know me so well,” Laura shook her head, beaming.

             “I am your soulmate. Being able to tell when something’s amiss comes with the territory.”

         The tips of Laura’s ears turned pink. “I would like to request something of you… though, if you’re not up for it, I’d understand.”

          “You’ve taught me that I deserve more than the life I’m used to,” Carmilla reasoned, “You challenge me. With you, I feel like my world has gotten a little bigger. I’m scared to explore it, but at least I’m not alone. You’re the best guide out there.”

          “I’m flattered,” Laura replied, feeling shy, “All right. So, my pop and dad are having their anniversary dinner next Saturday evening. This fits for the both of us, since the actual date falls on a Thursday but we’re both busy in the evening. They would not mind celebrating it a few days later so we both can be there.” 

           “Me?”  Carmilla said in awe, pointing to herself, “Bob and Sherman want my company?”

           “Of course, they love you.” Laura said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

            Carmilla was never close with her mother. She viewed the woman as a caretaker, an evil mistress that kept her locked away in a tower. She knew nothing of what Lilita did every day, or what her life was like prior to having Carmilla. The only maternity figure she had was Mattie, though it wasn’t like she could tell all her secrets to her aunt since she feared Mattie would turn on her as well. 

             So that left Laura, and her two fathers, three people whom after such a short period of time had wormed their way into her heart. She longed for—on several occasions since meeting them—that she didn’t have this burden so they could all pretend to be normal. That she would be able to take Laura out on cute dates during the day. Drive her in the morning to work. Help Bob and Sherman clean the house. Tend to their beautiful garden. Do all of the things to make Laura’s life a little easier.

           Yet, here they are. They have to make the best of it. Carmilla cannot change the way things are even if she tried. 

           “Okay.” Carmilla says, letting out a breath.

           “Okay?”  

           “I’ll go.”

     That was that.

        

            Saturday came by to whack Carmilla across the head faster than she would have liked. She couldn’t concentrate on her lessons, and because of that Lilita was extra difficult with her. The woman would call her these horrible names that Carmilla tuned out, refusing to believe them. Instead, she thought of Laura; the dimples on her cheeks, her honey brown hair, her adorable gestures when she tried to explain something. It helped.

             It was Will who snapped at her mother, coming to her rescue. It blinded Lilita for a moment, and had he been anyone else, he’d have a mark on his skin that’d last for days. But he gave Carmilla the seconds she needed to escape for the night.

            “Isn’t the perfection of a painting based on perspective?” Will asked, folding his arms. “There are no mistakes in art. Carmilla’s drawing of a museum could look off to some, but there’s so much detail I don’t see an issue. She’s a brilliant artist, isn’t she Mattie?”

             Lilita turns to Mattie, her eyes wide and challenging. She then sees the pleading look in Carmilla’s eyes, the urgency, and caves. “Her style is quite unique.” 

             Carmilla did not waste a moment. Placing the paint brush on her canvas, she blows a kiss to Will and hurries upstairs. She pulls her outfit for the evening from her closet, leather pants and light blue tank top, one of her favorite t-shirts.

            < **incoming call from: cupcake** >

           “ _Hey. We still on for tonight_?” She sounded nervous, and Carmilla could imagine Laura running a hand through her hair.

           “Yes. Apologies, I got held up with one of mother’s lessons,” The brunette mumbled, shaking the memory away. She had something to look forward to. “Wait in the back. I’ll be there soon.”

            “ _Carmilla_ ,” Laura spoke, the tone of her voice soothing her, “ _You’re pretty wonderful, you know_?”

             “Thank you. I needed to hear that today.”

              “ _Everything’s going to be okay, Carm_.”

   Carmilla believed her.

 

             The drive up to Laura’s house was quiet, as Carmilla was tired and needed her rest after a long day of lessons. Laura didn’t mind. She would occasionally touch her soulmate’s hand, her arm, her cheek, letting Carmilla know that she was valid and important. That her mother’s words are trash and mean nothing.

             Oh, how Laura wishes she could give Lilita Morgan a piece of her mind. The woman’s a monster. She’s never had such a strong emotion before, toward someone she’s never met. If there was ever a day, in the distant future, where Laura had full reign to take down the big bad wolf, she would not hesitate. 

               “Wake up, Carm. We’re here.” She cooed, killing the engine. Now that she was twenty-five, and lived in a shared apartment with two of her friends, coming back to their family lake house was like a mini stay-cation for her. She was blessed to have two homes, a core group of friends and family who cared for her. She took some days for granted, but when she did catch herself doing that, she reminded herself to stay humble. There are people like Carmilla who are less fortunate, and she needed to provide in any way she can so Carmilla can pursue her own happiness.  

          Baby steps. One day at a time, they’ll both get to where they belonged. As long as they still had each other.

       “Where are we?” Carmilla wondered sleepily.

       “When I was young, my dads’ invested in a lake cabin for the summer. Over the years, property value went down so no one wanted to live here. But it was where they met, all those years ago, and they couldn’t bear to leave. I spent many summers here.” Laura pointed across the lake, to an abandoned building, “A drive in movie theatre used to be there. Now we just go on the roof to watch the stars.”   

        Carmilla smiled, admiring the view, and she uttered softly, “I feel as if I’m trapped in time, here. Like—I could stay here for three hundred years and never age.”

        “Oddly specific,” Laura pats Carmilla’s arm, “Why didn’t you tell me sooner you’re a vampire?”

         “Oh, stuff it,” She replied, furrowing her eyebrows, “I just have a mild hemoglobin deficiency.” One of the downsides to this is that Carmilla could never go for a blood drive—whether it occurred during the middle of the day or at night—since the side effects of going would not bode well in her favor.

       Laura giggled, “I am vampire. I drink your blood, blah, blah, blah.”

      Carmilla rolled her eyes. “I—vampires do not go blah, blah, blah.” She said, mimicking Laura’s gestures.

      “Could have fooled me.”

      “Little nerd! Carm-sexy! You’re finally here, awesome!” Kirsch cheered, opening the door wide for them. “Your dads just brought out the pot roast!”

      Since Laura doesn’t have much family living in Toronto with them, she considers her close friends her family too. Kirsch, his wife SJ, and little Natalie (whom they adopted two years ago), longtime friends since elementary school, were always invited to these anniversary events.

       “If I hadn’t known that beefcake meant well with all his nicknames, he’d be six feet under.” Carmilla grumbled. 

        “Carm, he’s harmless. I mean he’s not the brightest tool in the shed but he respects women and is a total feminist. He’s a stay at home dad while SJ brings home the money. Natalie is such a daddy’s girl.”

        Carmilla says nothing in return, retracting her previous statement. Perhaps she’d been too harsh in judging him the night they first met. She’s always like that with everyone—whether she feels threatened by them or not. Laura’s teaching her how to change that state of thinking and admire the human being for their contributions to the group as a whole.

       “You ready?” Laura asked, bringing her soulmate back to reality.

       “Yeah—I guess, ready as I’ll ever be.”

 

    The dinner was lovely. Kirsch and Natalie were great company, as they did not ask any probing questions and for once, Carmilla felt that she was a normal human being, that she didn’t have this life-threatening disease, or that she was locked away in her tower day in and day out. She felt like a young college student, hanging out with friends on a Saturday night, drinking booze and laughing until her sides hurt. 

     Bob and Sherman were lovely hosts. They helped her feel welcome in their little cabin home. They weren’t rich or poor, they lived comfortably. Carmilla wondered if she would enjoy this lifestyle better than the lavish one she’s used to.  

(Granted, what good is living a lavish lifestyle if one cannot enjoy any of the amenities?)

      Once the meal and desert were served and everyone had eaten, Bob and Sherman retold the story of how they met, much to Laura’s displeasure.

        “Papa, dad, I’ve heard this story a thousand times,” She groaned, her head resting on Carmilla’s shoulder. 

         “Well, we’ve heard the story of how you and Carmilla met a thousand-and-one times.” Bob Hollis grins; Kirsch let an obnoxious sound escape from his lips. Laura's cell phone rang, breaking the awkward silence. It was another notification from Danny; Laura ignored it. 

          “It’s only fair. Besides, I think our dear Carm is intrigued to know how her future fathers-in-law’s fell in love.” Sherman adds.

          Carmilla had attempted to take a sip of her wine, but it went down the wrong pipe and she the drink went anywhere but her mouth. SJ burst out laughing. Laura frantically tended to Carmilla’s needs, who tried to assure her soulmate that she was fine. 

           “Very well then. It was a dark and stormy night—,” Sherman began, after everyone had calmed down.

           “No, it wasn’t. Blimey, it was hot as hell, not a cloud in the sky.” Bob narrowed his eyes, “You’re a horrible storyteller.”

           “You never let me have my fun,” Sherman urged, folding his arms in a huff. Carmilla smiled at the way Sherman’s nose bunched up, in a similar way Laura’s did when she was aggravated. Laura had physical features like Sherman’s, but her kind and caring personality came from Bob. It was a healthy mix of both dads.

          “Years ago, when this lake was popular and more cabins were occupied, my family and I would rent one for the summer. We loved going hiking, water skiing, or camping out in the woods. My parents were never born to be city people. Anyways, one particular day I was starting to feel agitated because my timer was close to going off. I took most of my frustration out on my cousins, and they decided to have their revenge on me,” Bob told the story, drawing everyone in, “We all climbed on that little island in the middle of the lake—right there,” He said, pointing to the rock formation outside his window, “I was too scared to jump. They all lied to me and said they would jump in with me. But, they didn’t. I was the one who hit the water first.”

        “My family and I had just pulled in to our lake house,” Sherman chuckled, remembering the day, “I was literally just getting out of our van, and I heard Bob’s scream. I didn’t notice that my timer went off the moment I decided to save him. The rest is history.”

          Carmilla smiled, admiring their story and their love. She then turns to Kirsch and Natalie, “How did you two find each other?”

          Kirsch scratched the back of his ear, “At a Zeta Omega Mu rush party.”

          Carmilla laughs. First, Sherman rescued Bob from drowning in a lake, Laura brought her to safety after she fainted from shock, and to top it all off, Kirsch met his soulmate at a college party filled with drunk and horny young adults.

         (Still, she figured that not every time one soulmate first meets the other, it has to be a whole shebang with fireworks and confetti. Some souls prefer to find their other half in different ways.)

    She found herself hanging around little Natalie as well, who spoke English surprisingly well given that it was not her first language. She loved Big Bird and Elmo and My Little Pony; although Carmilla had no idea what any of those things were, she obliged to Natalie’s request when she wanted them drawn. Once Carmilla drew all the girl’s cartoons, she started screeching at the top of her lungs and showed her parents. Carmilla, a little miffed now that the spotlight was on her, shyly accepted the praise from her fellow adults.

     It was just something she wasn’t particularly used to. Her mother—regardless of what she said—was harsh with her critique.

     She needed a moment to breathe. Carmilla quietly excused herself, giving Laura a soft kiss on her cheek before leaving out the back door. The evening sky turned from purple to black as Laura found herself in awe, the moon’s celestial glow illuminating Carmilla’s beautiful figure.

      Sherman smiled at the two, nudging his husband to talk to Laura while he cleaned the dishes.

      “Do you think we left a good impression on her?” Bob asked, placing a hand on Laura’s shoulder.

       Laura smiled at him, “What a silly thing to say,” She chuckled, “She talks of you fondly. She doesn’t… have a good relationship with her mother. The time she spends with you two she really treasures.”

        “Is there something going on I should know about?” Bob’s eyes narrowed.

         Laura frowns, “It’s not in my place to tell. There is, but… she’ll trust you when she’s ready. She’s been hurt, lots of times before, papa.”

        “Ah,” Bob says, scratching the stubble on his chin, “Then I understand why she values this friendship with you so dearly.”

        “I’m kind of hoping this will turn into something more. I-I’d be happy with either, platonic or romantic. I just hope she knows that she’s the gal I want to spend the rest of my life with.”

         “I’ve never seen you so sure of something, before. Didn’t I tell you once that one day, you no longer needed to worry? It was a day when you felt that all your friends were getting married or having children. You were feeling down, insecure. You came over for some milk and cookies, and I let you mope, until I said—,”

        “One day you’ll find a partner you’ll move the sun and the stars for,” Laura recited, beaming. “When you do, I’ll be by your side, for the good times and bad.”     

         “That’s right, kiddo.”

          Tears welled in Laura’s eyes, as she became very emotional. She reached out for her papa, and he happily accepted the gesture. They hugged for a moment, until Bob nudged her arm and said encouragingly, “Go to her.”

            Taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly, Laura made her way out the backdoor not to disturb a sleeping Natalie and her mother. Kirsch had the television on mute, but an episode of ‘Friends’ was playing. He turned to Laura and gave her a thumb up.

            That was all the encouragement she needed.

    

    

        All her life, Carmilla wondered if she was never meant to be born at Earth. She felt at peace with the stars, longing to be among them. She loved learning new things about space, her head filled with useless facts and trivia. Her bedroom walls covered in stars and stickers of the solar system. Lilita always found this childish.

       (“Have a hobby more practical,” she nags, “A woman of your nature could never be an astronaut.”)

       Then what _can_ she do? Sit around and do nothing as her life wastes away? Before Laura, she had no purpose. She let her sickness define who she is.

       When she’s with Laura, she discovers a happier version of herself. It’s exhilarating. Freeing. And, dare she admit, a little terrifying.

       “Mind if I join you?” the honey girl spoke, and Carmilla’s nerves eased.

           Carmilla smiled from where she lay, her soulmate looking quite funny upside down. She sat up and scooched over, so Laura could have some space. Then she lay down on her back, legs dangling on the edge of the rock. “It’s comforting, to think how small we are in comparison. All the lives we led. The people we’ve been. Nothing to that light.”

           They’re both quiet. Laura’s gaze shifts to Carmilla’s tattoo again, and she caresses it. 

           “Do you think different versions of us are up there? In the stars?” Laura wondered.

            “Without a doubt,” Carmilla murmured, as she admired the Orion constellation directly above her. A soft smile appeared on her lips. “That one’s my favorite.”

             “This one kind of looks like a giraffe riding on a scooter.” Laura giggled, pointing to another constellation opposite of her.

              “Cupcake, you could not be more incorrect. You’ve just insulted the gods.”

              “What? I’m having fun, who cares if I’m right or not!” Laura sputtered. “You try. Use that big brain of yours and think of something stupid.”

               “I’m offended,” Carmilla muttered, “All right, um. I suppose that’s Ruby and Sapphire, from Steven Universe. Holding hands. They look as if they’re about to fuse.”

                “Aww,” Laura cooed, eyes watering, “You said you hated that show.”

               “It’s… charming, once you understand the illusions to our real world. I relate to Lapis.” Carmilla sighed, and they both grew quiet. Laura squeezed her hand.

                “Is everything okay?”

                 The brunette shook her head, feeling the tears glisten in her eyes, and the self-doubt begin to sink in, “Laura, I need you to be honest with me. You’re the most important person in my life right now and I’d rather lose you than have you lie to me,” She said, her breath hitching, “Soulmate or not, do you even want to be with me?”

               “ _Carmilla_!”  Laura shrieked, eyes wide with alarm. 

         “Think about it, Laura. This whole… sneaking around thing when we’re young is cute, but there’s not much I can offer you without fearing death if my skin accidentally touches sun. I wouldn’t be able to do the little things for you, during the day. I can’t get the groceries. Or help you if you become injured. We’re on different time schedules, I function properly at night and you thrive in the sun. We might be soulmates, but I wouldn’t want to be a burden to you as we grow older. It wouldn’t be fair.”

         “I can’t believe…” Laura sputtered, angry tears threatening to spill out of her eyes, “I can’t believe you’re quitting on me before we’ve started something. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Carmilla.”

        “You deserve better than me.”

        “What if you’re the one for me?” Laura challenged, gripping onto Carmilla’s shirt to keep her steady, “I am the best version of myself when I’m with you. I don’t care if you have this life-threatening sickness. I don’t care if you’re a vampire—whatever it is! All I need is you. I want to tell our story to our grandkids someday. So, please. Don’t give up on our life.” 

       “I’m not giving up on our life,” Carmilla urged, her heart feeling warm at the thought of them having grandkids with Laura someday. “You must understand—it can’t… be what Kirsch and SJ have.”

          “I don’t want to be like Kirsch and SJ,” Laura assured, resting her head on top of Carmilla’s, “I like what we have.”  

         They’re quiet now as they hold each other, feeling like a weight is lifted off both their shoulders. They’ve both agreed that one simply cannot live without the other. It was a fate worse than death itself.

          Evening cicadas sang around them and the stars twinkled above. It was as if the entire universe held their breath.

          Carmilla thinks for a moment and suddenly gets an idea, adrenalin rushing through her veins. “I’m about to do something really reckless.”  

            The young woman gets up, her shaking hand held tightly in Laura’s. Then, without waiting for an answer, or to scare herself out of this, she decided to jump into the water below. She resurfaces moments later, a little winded and dazed from the drop. Normally, she’d be worried for her own safety, but she wasn’t this time. It was a decision she was able to make, all on her own.

           “Holy Hufflepuff, are you okay?” Laura called down.

           “Laura! Jump in! The water’s warm!”

          The honey girl was startled by her soulmate’s sudden change in character. She’s never seen a wild side of Carmilla like this, before. However, tonight was a special night. She felt something change in the air between them. If she backed away now, she’d be a hypocrite. This meant everything to them.

         Laura jumped in after her. She was laughing and crying as she reached out for Carmilla, who was doing the same.  

         “I should tell you we shouldn’t push our luck, but I can’t. I don’t want to.” Carmilla murmured, resting their foreheads together, once they calmed. 

         “Are you sure?” Laura wondered gently, eyes filled with desire.

          A moment passed. “Yes.” She’s never been more certain of anything in her life. She smiled lovingly, “Hello, my little star.”

          Laura swallowed thickly, taking a piece of wet hair out of Carmilla's face. "Hello, my sweet rose." 

          As the heavenly glow of the moon fell on them both, Carmilla wasn’t sure who leaned in first. Suddenly her chattering lips were no longer cold. They were warm, pressed against Laura’s. Had they not been in water, Carmilla’s legs would have popped up like she saw in those old black and white movies.

       “Wow,” Laura whispered, as they parted.

       “Yeah. Wow.” Carmilla agrees shyly. Laura nods. After catching their breaths, they giggled again, and held each other close.  

        In that moment, she was no longer the girl trapped in her tower. She was not Lilita’s glittering girl. She did not have xeroderma pigmentosum. Here, she was just Carmilla, Laura’s soulmate.

        From their cabin, Bob and Sherman cheered in excitement for them. Kirsch hollered as a set of fireworks exploded into the sky, with perfect cinematic timing. SJ gave them a very enthusiastic thumb up, with Natalie on her shoulders.

        “We have an audience.” Laura beamed, snuggling into her soulmate’s chest. Carmilla waved, not minding the attention.

        Laura was the one for her. Her own little pocket of sunshine. Laura was the one precious thing in her life her mother could not touch. Carmilla swore to keep it that way.

 

* * *

 

 

      Happiness was becoming a constant thing in Laura’s life, and she reviled in it. She was always a happy and cheerful individual, but ever since Carmilla came into her little world, there was new meaning to it.

      She understood that Carmilla was frail and sickly—but did Laura admire her any less? No, she had feelings for the younger woman. It’s nothing she can’t help, or stop, if someone told her to. Whenever she thought of Carmilla’s smile, or her laugh, or at a picture of them together, her heart fluttered with warmth.   

      Laura desired to have a future with Carm. They were going to make this work. 

      If she’d given up on them now, after everything they went through, then what was the point? She had to not only prove this to Carmilla, but to herself as well.

       However, their little world couldn’t be kept a happy bubble for long. There was someone trying to burst into Laura’s personal space of comfort, as every time she tried to keep them away, it only gave them more initiative to keep pestering her.  

      They would show up at her work, an extra coffee in hand. They would do the little things—where an outsider would find charming or cute, but to anyone who knew Laura, one would understand why she keeps on choosing to ignore this person. 

      That is, until they’d managed to follow her all the way to Carmilla’s.

      It was still daylight, there was a little bit of sun before the moon for the evening hours. But Laura could so clearly see the silhouette of her ex-over from the corner of her eye. She turned around, her eyes wild with frustration and tears.

      “What the hell is your problem? Can’t you leave me alone, for once?”

       “I’m only trying to protect you.” Danny said, emotion thick in her voice.

       “Protect me? From what? Because if you ask me, you’re doing a lot more harm than anyone else I know.”

        “She is not who she claims to be, Laura. Whenever you go there you’re not safe.”

        “That’s a load of bull and you know it. Who’s been feeding you these lies? Elle?”

         Danny puffed out her cheeks, “At least Elle was able to get out unscathed. I’m warning you, Laura. I wouldn’t associate myself with Carmilla anymore.”

         “She’s my _soulmate_!” Laura exclaimed, just as they made it to Carmilla’s driveway. She saw the brunette from behind her look out her bedroom window, her eyes wide with shock. “Regardless of what you think, I’m destined to be with her for better or worse! If this is some stupid ploy to get me back into your life, it’s not happening.”

       “But Laura, I still love you. Please, give me another—,”

        “You love the idea of me. We both know that when we were dating, it wasn’t fair to our true soulmates who were waiting for us. We can’t be together, Danny. Not in this lifetime.”

         Danny suddenly became close, too close for comfort, as she grabbed onto Laura’s wrist. “Listen, I’d suggest you keep your voice down.”

        “Don’t tell me what to do, heartbreaker!”

         They struggled with each other for a moment, until a startled yelp rang in Laura’s ears. It was Carmilla, running up to be with her, her face filled with alarm. 

          “Hey! Get away from her!” 

          “Carmilla, what the hell are you doing out here! Get back inside, right now.”

           “I-I just wanted to see if you were okay—,”

           “I’m fine, baby. Danny was just leaving.”

           Carmilla’s eyes were red with rage, as she turned to Danny, “If you hurt her I swear—,”

           Danny muttered something neither of them heard, because they were both too focused on the other’s well-being, and decided it was time to leave. So, she did, and never spoke to Laura again after that incident.

            Tears glistened in Laura’s eyes, “Carm, you really need to go. If you stay out a second longer, you could die. I can’t lose you. You mean so much to me.”

            Carmilla smiled, placing her hand on Laura’s cheeks, “If I do, it’d be a painless and blameless death because now I know you’re safe and unharmed.”

            “Oh, baby—,” 

            A shrill pierced the air between them, “CARMILLA VON KARNSTEIN, GO BACK INSIDE THIS INSTANT!”

            Laura felt her whole world ripped from her as evil in human form came running out of their home, grabbing Carmilla roughly with both arms. Laura tumbled to the ground in shock, watching helplessly, wanting nothing more than to comfort the woman she loved. 

            Lilita slammed the door shut behind them. “What were you thinking, Carmilla? Going outside? You know the rules! You could have—,” She grabbed her daughter by the shoulders, “Why would you risk your life for a total stranger?”

            Carmilla didn’t answer her mother. Her mind was whirling with emotions and her stomach threatened to empty itself.

          “She’s not a stranger, is she.” Her mother said, more of a statement than a question.

           Tears fell like waterfalls down her cheeks as she realized she’d just risked her life, and all for what? Only to die soon?     

          She felt bile rise to her throat and ran to the sink.

 

* * *

 

       Life was dull and colorless without Carmilla. Laura lost all contact with her after that incident. She focused on work, making sure she ate, and slept. She didn’t tell Lafontaine or Perry what happened. Barely looked them in the eye. Her two dads were worried, as well.

      But she assured them everything was fine. They just had a fight. It’ll blow over soon.

      Laura’s timer burned and peeled whenever she thought of her soulmate.

      The creeping feeling swelled into her stomach before she could stop herself: she was lonely.

 

* * *

 

      Carmilla counted her lucky stars that death hadn’t marked her. But with Laura not in her life, she might as well be.

     Carmilla cried a lot. Her lessons were suspended, as punishment for going outside. She struggled to eat. Sleep. She was like the human equivalent to a zombie. She snapped at Will multiple times, when he was only trying to help. She only allowed Luna to be with her. She barely looked at her mother when Lilita came to dote on her.

       Two weeks passed. The weather was humid most days, with the air conditioner inside their home blasting. Nothing mattered to Carmilla.

       There could have been a hurricane outside her window, and she wouldn’t bat an eyelash.

       She’d experienced depression before, but it was nothing quite like this.

       She lost all interest in philosophy, something she once loved. Her favorite book, _What We Owe To Each Other,_ lay unopened on her shelf, next to a copy of _The Little Prince_.

       

 

          It was a dark and stormy summer evening. 

          Under the thunder and lightning, the house shook.

          In her bed, Carmilla shook.  

    Her mother’s and Mattie’s harsh words thrown at each other sounded louder than the raging storm outside. They hit against each other, like a war that was centuries old with no end in sight. Their voices rose, higher and higher until suddenly they lost power—literally. All the lights in the home went out.

        It was there, in the dead of night, she finally saw her mother for who she truly is.

       “I suggest you stop this madness now before things get out of hand,” Mattie growled, low and menacing, “It is not Carmilla who’s sick. You are.”

        Lighting pierced through the sky.

       Carmilla rose her weary body with a start.

       “This is not love, what you’re doing to protect her. You’re in a position of power too high to admit that you have a mental illness. No one else knows of this, because I swore to secrecy the moment Carmilla was born. You know as well as I—that honey girl, who stole Carmilla’s heart? It isn’t fair, that they’re both suffering, because you’re in denial of your own fate!” The brunette’s hands were shaking as she gripped her bedsheets, “If you were really her mother, you’d tell the truth!”

       “It’s better this way,” Her mother’s voice spoke, eerily calm. “It’s a scary world out there. Carmilla’s safe here.”

        “Carmilla’s _trapped_ here!”

       A neighbor’s tree fell down, struck by the storm, taking a few power lines with it. Carmilla felt rooted in her spot.

       “If she’s out in the sun for more than a second—a second, that’s all it takes—,” Her mother was beginning to sound like a broken record.

       “She will not die.” Mattie argued, tears streaming down her cheeks. “She is a healthy, young, beautiful, twenty-one-year-old girl. She’s malnourished because of her extreme living conditions, but repeat after me: she will not die.”

        “ _I will not die_ ,” Carmilla whispered, her body shaking.

         She didn’t hear anything after that. She wasn’t sure what happened to Mattie.

         Suddenly, everything became very quiet.

        Carmilla felt something stir within her, like an elastic band. A heart wrenching wail coursed through her body, up and up, until the sound escaped her lips. She got up from her bed, her vision blurred. 

        It wasn’t long before she started to wreck things within her general vicinity. Her models of space. Family heirlooms. Books. Anything her hands could grasp and throw. It was a reckless, risky thing to do. But what did she have to lose?

        Her entire life she’d been lied to. She had nothing, now.

        The rain stopped.

        Carmilla was breathing heavily as little patches of sunlight came through her window. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been up, or what time it was. Something was urging her—a feeling so intense it was indescribable—to risk everything and see if what Mattie was telling the truth, once and for all.

        Her hands were shaking as she scrambled around her messy room, out into the quiet hallway, searching for the secret staircase to their roof. Only William so far had been up here, it’s where he goes to think. Now it was Carmilla’s turn.

        She paused, hesitant, only to bask in the sun’s beautiful glow for the first time. Years she dreamed of this moment, fearing that if she dared risk her life, she’d burst into flames. But the universe was on her side this morning—protecting her.

        “I’m not dead,” Carmilla said quietly, to herself. The sun reflected in her eyes and kissed her skin. Then, joyously, “I’m not dead! I’m alive!” She pressed her hands to her face and nearly fell. “I’m not sick.” She assured herself, one final time.

        She stared back at the sun once more, and thought of Laura.

     

* * *

 

         The slamming of their front door rang loudly in Lafontaine’s ears, as they flinched, and glanced away briefly from their comic book. It was Laura, home after a long day at work. Normally the woman would stay out and attend one of Carmilla’s lessons in the evening. It was always at night when they had time for each other, but Lafontaine didn’t mind. They encouraged it. They’ve never seen Laura so smitten by another woman, or have the strong urge to take care of someone that wasn’t her papa or dad. 

           Lafontaine had only met Carmilla twice, though they understood and chose not to ask as to why each visit was short and not so frequent. Laura told Lafontaine Carmilla has to keep a lot of her life private for security reasons. The less they know, the better.

            Everything seemed to be going normal—as normal as one could get with a soulmate who’s nocturnal, and quite possibly might be a vampire. That is, until two weeks ago, Laura came home in complete shock. She hasn’t spoken to Lafontaine or Perry since. Quite frankly, they were really worried.

            Lafontaine studied their best friend’s appearance. She looked… sad. Her hair was in a state of disarray, her clothes—which were usually ironed and put together—were wrinkled and stained. She hasn’t been eating well, or at all, Lafontaine noticed. She was like a lost puppy without Carmilla, a stark difference compared to how lively and energetic she once was.

           “How was your day, L?” They beam, attempting to make conversation.

            Laura didn’t even acknowledge them. She let out a sniffle, let her purse fall to the floor by the door, and make a bee-line straight to her bedroom upstairs.

            They sighed, placing their comic book on the table.

            “Well. I say this has gone on long enough.” Perry grumbled, wringing her hands together.

            “Perr, please—,”

            “Our friend needs help, Lafontaine! I—I can’t just sit here and do nothing! Carmilla was the best thing that’s ever happened to Laura. There must be some way to get her back.”

            “We’ve tried everything, honey. What else can we do?”

            Perry shook her head, “The way we’ve been going about things is not healthy. Laura isn’t one for confrontation,” She pats Lafontaine on the shoulder, “I’ll talk to her. I have an important task for you—see if you can reach out to Carmilla, and bring her here.”

           “I’ll see what I can do.”

            As it turns out, having Perry talk to Laura was a better decision than Lafontaine. LaF had a different approach with their friend, which usually led to tears and yelling. With Perry, she was gentle and motherly, able to have Laura manage her feelings while giving Perry a proper explanation as to what happened. Lafontaine heard everything from the opposite side of the door, an uneasy feeling settling in their chest.

        Something wasn’t adding up. How can a mother do that to her child? Sure, they finally had a diagnosis for Carmilla—she wasn’t a vampire, she had xeroderma pigmentosum. A genetic disease that is characterized by an extraordinary sensitivity to sunlight. So sensitive there’s a chance of death, if out for even a second. However, Carmilla’s mother had the girl trapped in a bubble. She’s never allowed to leave the house in the morning or afternoon. It put a strain on Carmilla’s and Laura’s relationship, as they desired more time with the other.

       They had to get to the bottom of this.

       So, quietly, and with the information of the address given by Perry, they left their apartment to find Carmilla’s.

    

       It was an odd sight to see—looking at a young girl, laying on the roof of her house, in broad daylight. All of the lights were shut. There was not a soul inside the home. She appeared to be in a state of shock.

      “Uh—I seriously hope you have sunscreen on, Carmilla. Or else you’ll get a nasty burn.” They murmured.

      She didn’t answer them. Then: “I’m not sick.”

      “What?” 

       “Lafontaine, it’s a miracle. I’m not sick.” She got up, albeit struggling, and beamed at them with wide eyes, “I’m okay! Look!”

      “Have you… been sitting up there all day?” 

       “Yes. This is the longest I’ve ever been outside! Isn’t that amazing?” 

       Lafontaine tilts their head, “Really great, Carm. But I think staying out all day without taking care of yourself isn’t healthy. Can you come down from there?”

        “Sure!” Carmilla beamed, and disappeared behind a door. She was gone for a few moments, then Lafontaine heard the front door jiggle open, revealing their friend.

        Frustrated, Lafontaine shoved Carmilla back instead of welcoming her with a hug. “What the hell is your problem? Lying to my best friend about this disease you supposedly have, all the while she’s suffering and worried sick, because she thinks you’re about to die? You better have a good explanation for this!”

        Their words snapped Carmilla out of her trance, as she brought her hands to her face, “Oh my god. Laf, no. No. You’ve got it all wrong. That’s not it at all.” She let out a shaky breath, “Lafontaine, _I’m_ the one who’s been lied to. My mother raised me to believe that I have this deadly disease. I’ve never been outside—not once, in all my twenty-one years—because of my mother’s mental illness. I don’t know much about my father, because he left when I was very young. But for whatever reason, due to his disappearance, my mother was convinced I’d leave her too. So, she gave me a reason to never leave. I’ve been trapped in this damn house my whole life.”

        Lafontaine took a step back, dazed. “Where is your mother now?”

        “I don’t know. But god, Lafontaine. I don’t want to stay any longer to find out. I’ve got to tell Laura this.”

         “Right. She needs you now. You two need to get as far away from this place as possible.” 

         Carmilla broke out into a wide smile, “Thank you, Lafontaine. For trusting me.”

         They shrug, nonchalant. “You’re all right. You make Laura happy—that’s a gold star in my book,” Their expression then turns serious, “If you ever break her heart again, whether it’s intentional or not, I _promise_ you, you’ll regret it.”  

         “Cross my heart and hope to die.”

         “No dying, please. That’s not what we need now.” They warn her, and Carmilla nods seriously. Then, the two burst out into laughter. They laughed and cried until their sides hurt, and to someone passing by, nothing would seem out of the ordinary. But to Carmilla and Lafontaine, it was very well the best day of both their lives, for they gained a new sibling in each other.

         It was an exhilarating feeling. It was everything.

* * *

 

            Laura sniffled and tugged the covers closer to her chest. Perry had recently stepped in and had some light come into her bedroom, through her window. Laura glared at it.

            Wasn’t the sun supposed to be this magical, wonderful thing? If it was, then why did her soulmate have to suffer? Carmilla was sick and quarantined. During the daytime, Carmilla hid away in her tower. However, once the clock struck twelve, Carmilla spread her wings and flew into the night, Laura right beside her. Those hours were short and in between, she cherished the time they spent together. Perhaps because of Carmilla’s aversion to sunlight was a blessing—because their time was limited, whatever they ended up doing, they valued every moment.

           Though, a part of Laura wished—the sick and ungrateful part—wished that this was not so. That how glorious it would be if they had a normal life. 

            All the while, Laura chastised herself when she had thoughts like this. She should know better, and give Carmilla the time and distance she needed.

            Was it selfish of Laura to need someone in this way? Was it selfish of her to love?

            “Laura,” a soft voice cooed, gently rapping on the door. It was Perry again. “Would you like something for dinner?”

            “I’m not hungry.” Laura always said, which upset Perry.

             “Dear, it’s important to eat. At least come in for some crackers and tea.”

            Laura knew she meant well, and that Perry would keep asking if she said no. So, for the first time in two weeks, Laura rose from her bed with a yawn. “I’ll, um. Be there in a few minutes.”

            Perry smiled and nodded. 

            The honey girl took a look around her room. It was cluttered and a little smelly, dust collecting on her shelves and papers piling up on her desk. What good is the first week of summer vacation, when all that happens is you stop talking to your soulmate and all the color drains from your life? Looking at the sun reminded her of how limited they are compared to it.

           Her stomach growled when she started to hear rustling in the kitchen, and another voice, alongside Perry and Lafontaine’s.

           It was enough to jolt Laura out of her depression, as she wildly reached for the door to see the commotion.

          “Look what the cat dragged in.” Lafontaine teased, peering at their friend with gentle curiosity.

          “Not right now, sweetie.” Perry glared, pouring a spot of tea like she always does.

          However, there was something—or someone—new. Carmilla sat at the end of the table, arms folded in her lap, a soft smile on her face. Her skin was tanned, compared to its usual paleness, and Laura jumped back with a yelped when she realized that Carmilla must have been out in the sun. How on Earth was she here? Laura’s mind raced a mile a minute, words failing her.

        “Laura. Hey.” She greets, standing up.

        “Carm—I—how—you—you’re supposed to be dead!” She shrieked, hands shaking, “You were outside—two weeks ago—any second out in the sun and it’ll kill you! How are you _here_?”

         “I’m not sick, cupcake,” Carmilla breathed, taking a cautious step forward. “I’m fine. I’m alive. I’ve always been fine.” Laura burst into tears, collapsing into Carmilla’s arms as she went to comfort her. Laura started to aggressively—though it wasn’t threatening at all—hit her soulmate’s chest. Their timers, now that they were together, no longer burned and the redness disappeared.

          The final step was complete. They were forever bonded by the sun, moon, and stars. 

          Lafontaine and Perry explained the situation since Carmilla was far too emotional to speak, while they held each other. Laura listened, every so often sobbing or sniffling because she couldn’t believe their luck.   

          It was a miracle—they could live a normal life now. Possibly get married, and raise a family. The future seemed so much brighter and sunnier. It was a beautiful future where Carmilla was not chained by Lilita any longer.

          “I need to sleep for a year.” Carmilla sighed, once they were finished. 

          “I’ve missed you _,_ ” Laura beamed, and she kissed her beloved soulmate.

          “I’ve missed you too. I’m not going anywhere, anytime soon.” Carmilla said, then she seriously glanced at Lafontaine and Perry, “I promise.”  

           “Good. Because we like your company, and we know Laura is in good hands with you.” Perry agreed.  

          “Can we go somewhere, together?” Laura asked shyly.

          “Where do you want to go? We have all the time in the world, honey girl.” 

          “Paris.” It was a statement not a question, a place that’s shared deeply in both their hearts.

    Carmilla turned to Perry and Lafontaine again, who both nodded. “Paris it is.”

             They bought two one-way tickets to Paris that evening, and left at the crack of dawn, so they can see their first sunrise together. It’ll be the first of many sunrises.

 

* * *

 

          Paris was beautiful, even more so than the pictures Carmilla had seen on the internet or postcards.

         On the night they arrived, the hotel front desk misheard their request for two separate beds and gave them one, covered with rose petals. It was a fancy suite, with a generously sized shower and a view of the Eiffel Tower several blocks away. There was fancy black toilet paper and the lights turned on if someone clapped.

         They were so exhausted and yet so overwhelmed with it all they found themselves tangled in each other’s arms, their clothes ripped off and scattered onto the floor beside their luggage. They made love for the first time in Paris.  

          Laura’s gentle breaths hit Carmilla’s skin, and she sighed deeply, snuggling in closer. “Are you awake?”  

          “Hmm,” the honey girl yawned, kissing the outline of the rose tattoo on her chest, “Can’t sleep.”

           It’s so loving and soft Carmilla almost cries.  

           “Try to sleep. I know the time zone switch will be hard, but we’ve got a lot of exploring to do tomorrow.”

           Laura smiled, “You’re just excited to be out in the sun again.”        

           “I never thought I’d say this, but I love the sun so much. It’s so bright—I love the way it feels on my skin. I’ve never had so much energy before.” She explained, bouncing a little. 

           Laura laughed, it was light and airy, without a care in the world. “You’re cute.”

           “I am not. I’m a creature of the night. Fear me.”

           “Blah, blah, blah.”

     Carmilla pouts. 

             “Oh, sweetie—I’m only teasing. You know I love you so.”

             It was such a rush, hearing Laura say ‘I love you’, so freely. They’d only known each other for a little while, but so much happened that tested their relationship, Carmilla felt as if Laura had been in her life for a long time. It felt so natural with her. Touching, kissing, laughing.  
Everything. She cherished every moment.

            “I love you.” Carmilla said, tears glistening in her eyes. “Would you—I—are we girlfriends? Is… is that okay?”

           “Carm,” Laura giggled, kissing Carmilla’s tears away. “You moaned my name to the heavens last night. I swear I’d take a plane back to Canada if you introduced me as nothing more than your gal pal.”

          “God, how embarrassing,” Carmilla mumbled, hiding herself under the covers, “I was hoping to ask you later, someplace a bit more romantic.”

           “This is just fine. You’re doing okay, Carm.” Laura smiled, lifting Carmilla’s chin and pecking her softly on the lips. “I love that I can call you my girlfriend now without a care in the world.”

           Just like that, they were under the sheets again, making love until the sun rose and a new day was among them.

 

           They visited the Louvre and the Notre-Dame de Paris and the Palace of Versailles. They attempted to make the long trek up the Eiffel Tower but tested Carmilla’s strength and immune system to its limit, so they took an elevator the rest of the way. The view was worth it. They saw an opera _Les Pecheurs de Perles_ or _The Pearl Fishers_ , a tantalizing love story in three acts about two brothers who fall for the same woman, who had made a sacred oath as a priestess. The ending had a shocking twist as the two main lovers lived (where in most operas, every character ends up dying, and Carmilla had become numb to this) and they cried tears of joy.

           Carmilla tried frog legs for the first time and loved it, claiming they tasted like chicken. Laura carried two whole baguettes bigger than her tiny body. It was adorable, seeing the creampuff struggle, but she was determined to bring both of them home for some wine and cheese.

       They would have stayed longer than a week, perhaps forever, if time would allow them, but Carmilla’s health was waning alarmingly. Maybe it was the intense introduction to the sun that Carmilla was not used to, or that they’ve tried multiple foreign foods and it upset her stomach, but one early morning, as they were getting ready for a boat ride, she collapsed.  

         The last thing Carmilla heard was Laura’s soothing voice, assuring her that everything was going to be okay. Then everything went black.

 

* * *

 

            Bob Hollis was about to watch another episode of Undercover Boss when he received the call that his daughter was in the hospital. He panicked, and without thinking, awoke his sleeping husband and they rushed out of their home to visit her. He was embarrassed to find out that it wasn’t his daughter who was sick, but his daughter’s soulmate, who had fainted on their vacation. She needed a proper emergency contact, but since Laura refused to give out Lilita’s number, she had called her dads instead. They were in Paris - but they had to take an emergency trip back home to Toronto. It was every father's worst nightmare. 

            Bob engulfed his daughter in a hug, the moment they were alone. “You did everything you could.” 

            “I was so scared, papa,” She sniffed, “I tried to keep it cool for her sake, but I think we pushed her to her limit. I feel so ashamed right now. I’m such a horrible soulmate.”

           “No—Laura, you stop that stinking thinking right now. You’re a wonderful soulmate, and took Carmilla out on the adventure of a lifetime. She needed that. You gave her all your love, and in return, she gave it right back here.” Bob said, patting Laura’s chest. “I’m proud of you, bub.”

          Sherman had a smile on his face, walking up to them with a coffee in his hands, “You remember what I said when you told me you’re a lesbian?”

          “Thank god you finally said it?” Laura wondered.

           “After that.”

          “You better find a girl who deserves you.”

           Her father yelps with excitement, “Yes! That! Carmilla is _exactly_ who we have in mind!”

           Bob chuckled, patting his husband’s shoulder. “Easy, Sher. There’s no need to shout.”

         “I’m only telling the truth.” Sherman pouts. 

           Bob takes the coffee cup away from him, “You’ve had far too much coffee.”

  Laura let out a sigh, visibly relaxing now. Bob rubbed her shoulder in comfort. The doctor poked her head in the hallway, a pretty blonde with striking blue eyes and the name Speilsdorf on her tag, smiled at the three.

      “Laura? It’s Carmilla. She’s been asking for you.”

       “What’s the verdict, doc?” His daughter asked.

        “It’s unlike anything we’ve seen. Your assumption is right, Carmilla does not have xeroderma pigmentosum. It is an autosomal recessive genetic condition caused by alterations, or mutations in nine different genes. But we ran several tests on Carmilla and she’s all clear—no history with any sort of skin cancer,” The doctor explained, “Remind me again, who’s the primary caregiver for Carmilla?”

        Laura, hesitant, “Her mother. Carmilla tells me she has a mental illness, as it was the result of her husband abandoning her. She wanted Carmilla to stay with her forever, so she made up this disease to keep her there.”

        “That’s a case of Munchausen syndrome by proxy. It’s a rare form of child abuse. The caretaker of a child—in this situation, your soulmate’s mother—made up a fake symptom or real symptoms to make it appear that Carmilla was sick. If you were to check the medical records her mother created, you’d find some dramatic but inconsistent medical history.”

      “Are you trying to say you want some of those, for evidence?” Laura asked, “…it’d be difficult for Carmilla to go back in there.” 

      “It would, but if we want to bring her mother to justice, it’s the only chance we have. A mother’s word is law and the jury could easily be swayed without them.” Dr. Speilsdorf announced gravely. 

      “I’ll talk to her about it.” She replies, and turns to her two dads, “Okay. I’ll see you guys back home.”

       “Send Carmilla our love,” Bob said, while Sherman nods. “You’ll know where to find us.”

       Laura gives them a weary thumb up, and they left. Taking a deep breath, she followed the doctor who had been so generous to her family into the room where Carmilla was resting.

       Her soulmate was awake, reading _The Little Prince_ for the umpteenth time. Her favorite book, as it was always a sense of comfort during troubling times.

       “I remember reading this book with my mother, and being so upset when he passed away. I cried and cried and cried,” Carmilla said quietly, making room so Laura could lay with her. Laura pressed a gentle kiss on her tattoo, and Carmilla was calm again. “It was unfathomable to me—how he would rather die than be with his rose. I… understand it now. I relate to him. His rose meant everything. Everything. Without her, he wasn’t really living,” Carmilla turned to her, gaze serious, “Those weeks without you, I wasn’t either.”

        “But we found each other again.” Laura said, giving Carmilla a kiss on her cheek. “I’m here.” Then to her forehead. “I’m here.” She says again, and kisses her lips.

        “Indeed, we did my little star.” Carmilla agrees, “We’ve really been pulled through the wringer, huh?”

     “The worst is nearly over. We need to bring your mother to justice for what she’s done. When you’re better, we’ll search your home for the ‘documents’ that claimed you had xeroderma pigmentosum.”

     “A part of me wants to say that my mother has done nothing wrong,” Carmilla sighed deeply, “But… she wasn’t truly my mother. I was trapped in that place, not knowing what happened to my father, or why she’s tormented herself for years. Jail is too forgiving of a place for her.”

       “She needs to be far away from you, that’s all I care about. You’re free now, to live your own life. You can make your own decisions now.” Laura announced, and shyly ticked a piece of hair behind her ears, “Where are we going next, my sweet rose?”

       “Anywhere, as long as I’m with you.” Then, an ear-splitting grin appeared on her face, “ _Disneyland_?”

       Laura burst out laughing, and positioned herself on top of Carmilla to kiss her properly. They kissed, and kissed, and kissed, until they needed air, and kissed again, stopping when the doctor came to check on Carmilla’s vitals.

       That was that.

* * *

 

     Carmilla was discharged from the hospital later that week, and while Lafontaine and Perry offered to have her stay with them, she felt more comfortable recuperating at Mattie’s and Will’s home, who were worried sick about her. It was difficult being away from Laura, after only being with her for a short time. But this was a transition period for Carmilla, and they were working on getting a restraining order for Lilita.

       Carmilla and Will’s cat, Luna, was safe and enjoyed her new home; Mattie took good care of her.

      Change was happening. For someone like Carmilla, who was so used to living in the same place, it was overwhelming.

      But she had to keep telling herself that this was a good thing. That this wasn’t permanent. That she had a future now.

       More importantly, a future with Laura.

       Will kicked Carmilla in the shin.

        “Ow! What was that for?”

       “You have that stupid grin on your face again,” Will grumbled, cuddling with Luna on his lap. “You’re thinking about your little star, _your honey girl,_ aren’t you?” He asked in a higher tone.

       “So, what if I am? She’s the girl I’m going to marry someday.” Carmilla huffed, puffing out her cheeks. “Don’t be a hater.” She threw the bag of Cheetos at Will.

        “I am happy for you, but you’re so annoying about it. It’s always _Laura, Laura, Laura_.”

         “Mattie! Will is bothering me!”

         “Carmilla started it!”

         “I did _not_.”   

     From the kitchen, Mattie was making dinner for her son and niece. “William, be nice to your cousin.” 

         Carmilla stuck her tongue out at him.

         The doorbell rang, causing the kitten to scatter away and Carmilla to jump up in excitement. Will groaned and lay on his back, like a lazy bum.

         The brunette opened the door and was tackled with a blur of honey blonde hair, and they nearly crashed to the floor.

         “Well, that was a kick.” Carmilla huffed, maintaining her balance. She giggled and kissed every inch of Laura’s skin as she cupped her face. She wiped away her love’s tears, cooing all the while.

          “I missed you so much.”

          “Baby, we texted every day.”

          “I know. But I couldn’t hold you like this,” Laura kissed her, “Or kiss you like this.”

          “ _Is that allowed_?” Will asked, roaring with laughter at his stupid joke.

           “Will, knock it off!”

     Mattie called from the kitchen, “Will, this is your last warning! Help me set up the plates.”

             “Actually Mattie, we won’t be staying for dinner. Carmilla and I have some unfinished business.”

             The single mother poked her head out to greet them, her eyes filled with understanding. She didn’t need to ask. “If you make it back for desert, what are you in the mood for?”

            “Ooh, chocolate lava cake sounds like a _really_ good victory desert.” Laura beamed, nodding vivaciously.  

             “I second that.” Her soulmate agreed.   

             “Applebee’s makes the best ones!” Will cheered.

   They said their goodbyes, Mattie reluctant to watch them go but knew that whatever happened tonight, it was better now than later.

       

       Lafontaine and Perry were meeting them at the Karnstein estate, for backup just in case Lilita decided to drop by unexpectedly. 

       It went just about as one would expect. Carmilla struggled at first, bad memories associated with this house. It was still unfathomable to her how her life was able to turn upside down so easily in a matter of months. When she lived in this house, her world was colorless and boring.

      Now, with Laura by her side, she was thrown into a world of color.

      “All right, so what’s the game plan?” Perry asked, breaking the tension.

      “Don’t get caught, obviously.” Carmilla announced.

   “That’s not a plan.” The curly haired woman hissed.

          “You tell me, Red. Would you like me to make a power point presentation with special effects and dramatic slides?”

           Laura giggled.

          “I would prefer this conversation to exist without the sarcasm, thanks.”

           “We’re a package deal. Sorry to disappoint.”

           Lafontaine clapped their hands, “Hello—we have until sunrise, people. Enough chit-chat. We go in, get the documents, and get out. That’s all there is, Perr.”

            Perry grumbled, glaring at Carmilla with unnecessary intensity. They would have to settle their differences for now. Time was of the essence.

           Carmilla kept Laura close as they explored the empty home. It was eerie, stepping into this place. It was like she never left; everything was the same. Her study room, the piano, the kitchen. The large, fancy living room. She had all the amenities one could desire. But now that she was free from this place, she realized how superfluous it all was.

          Life here was too orderly.

          “You were so little here,” Laura said, looking at an old picture of Carmilla at the piano, her mother beside her.

           “Ah. That’s when I first learned how to play.” She smiled, wrapping her arms around Laura’s waist. “My fingers could barely fit the keys.”  

            “I can just imagine a baby you, fumbling around,” Laura shook her head, “If we had kids, would you teach them how to play?”

          The tips of Carmilla’s ears turn pink, “Yes, but certainly not in the way my mother taught me. If I got a note wrong she’d slap my knuckles with a ruler.” In response to that, Laura took Carmilla’s hand and kissed her knuckles. “Do you think I’d be a good teacher, to our children?”

          “Yes, because you want to know why? You are not your mother. Our baby will be so blessed to have you as their mother. I will be so blessed to have you as my wife.”

             “Someday soon.” Carmilla promised, kissing her forehead. “It’ll be a beautiful morning where we wake up and we no longer have to worry about any of this.”  

             “I’ll hold you to that promise.”  

              Laura put the photo down and they kept searching. They passed by Carmilla’s broken room, where they used to have all of Laura’s lessons. Laura squeezed her hand tight, and they walked past it without a word.

           “This is my mother’s office,” Carmilla said quietly, hands shaking. “I was never allowed in. But if the documents would be anywhere, it’d be here.” She jingled the keys in her hand, “Thank god Mattie knows where the spare sets of keys are.”

              Laura let out a nervous sigh and rubbed Carmilla’s shoulder, keeping a look out behind them. The coast was clear. They went in. 

             “You start looking by the desk, I’ll look in the closet.” Laura started to giggle at the joke, and Carmilla groaned at her. “Yes, yes. We both came out of the closet years ago. Hahaha.” After a quick good luck kiss they started searching.

             They upturned everything. Books, old newspapers, fragile china her mother kept on her desk. And yet, nothing revealed to have documents supposedly claiming Carmilla’s xeroderma pigmentosum. It was as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

          “Fuck, where is it?” Carmilla huffed, hands shaking with nerves. 

          “Baby, it didn’t grow legs and walk away. It’s still here. Don’t worry.” Laura soothed, taking Carmilla’s hands.

           They were quiet for a long moment, wondering what to do.

           Then— “Looking for these?”    

           Time swerved to a halt. Carmilla’s blood ran cold as she held onto Laura, the only woman who’s ever loved her in her sad existence.

            “Hello, mother.”  

           “Ah. I see you’ve brought a little friend.”

           “Leave her out of this,” Carmilla shook her head. “Please. Hand over the documents. They’re mine to keep.”  

        “Why? My dear Carmilla, you’re ill. You cannot go outside. You’ll die.” Lilita states monotonously.   

          “I will not die, mother. I am not sick. I’m fine—why can’t you understand?”

         “You have been a disobedient child. Please, my glittering girl, come to bed and I’ll make you a spot of tea.”

          “I am not sick, mother. Repeat after me. I am not sick.” Carmilla’s voice wavered. Laura pulled her soulmate away, adrenaline seeping in her veins as Lilita crept foreword, and placed her a boney hand on Carmilla’s forehead.

          “Goodness, darling. You are burning up. How unfortunate.”

          “That’s it! Enough! Stop treating me like a child!”

           “Stop fighting me, then. You know nothing of this world. Not about this life.”

           “I may know nothing of this world, but at least I do know love. I may not be feeling it right now, but I have it.”

           “Spare me,” Lilita hissed, clutching the documents, “The only kind you know of is perverted, warped, and deviant.” 

          “Even if it was!” Carmilla exclaimed, and Laura beamed with pride. “It was mine.” _She is mine, not yours,_ Carmilla thought, as Laura squeezed her hand tight. “But you couldn’t let me have her, could you? So, you did everything in your power to destroy it. Not this time. I won’t let you hurt her, Lilita.”

          “Let?” Her mother laughed. It was cold. Empty, and sent shivers down Laura’s spine. “You’re hilarious, kitten.”

          “You took love from me. Now all I must do is pay you back in hate.”

            Lilita growled, “You owe me your life.”

            “I owe you _nothing_!” Carmilla spat.

            From the corner of her eye, Carmilla saw Lafontaine and Perry slowly sneak up on Lilita. Carmilla smirked, taking a step forward.

            “Baby, don’t. She’s not worth it.” 

            It all happened so fast, if Carmilla would blink, she would miss it. But Perry was quick witted, and with fast reflexes, she swung a frying pan at Lilita’s head from behind her. The wicked woman fell down, roaring like a wounded animal. Papers scattered onto the floor beside them.

           “That was so hardcore.” Lafontaine said in awe, beaming proudly at their soulmate.

           “Laura!” The mother hen exclaimed, stepping over Lilita to tend to her dear friend’s needs. “Are you hurt? Did she touch you?”

            “I’m okay, we’re okay—right Carm?”

             “It’s… it’s over. Just like that?”

             “Just like that, Carm. You’re safe. You’re not sick.”

             Carmilla blinked, eyes glistening with tears, “I’m not sick, Laura.”

       “And with these papers we can finally prove it.” Lafontaine beams, keeping them tucked underneath their arm.

             The young woman sighed deeply, feeling the weight of the world lifted from her shoulders, “I really need some chocolate lava cake right now.” 

             “Right on.” Everyone cheered, and without wasting a second, they left the Karnstein estate, never to return.

             They did not look back.

 

* * *

 

It was close to sunrise as a group of friends camped out in the middle of the woods, nothing else surrounding them but trees and the occasional squirrel or racoon. Most folks would never stay up this late, preferably with the desire to stay tucked away in their cabins, but this particular group of friends thrived during the witching hours. 

        They did so in solidarity of their mutual friend, who finds comfort and peace in watching the sun rise. She never took one for granted. They loved coming to this particular spot in the woods, because of the wonderful view they had of the Toronto skyline, and the CN tower. 

          Charlotte and Mel Bronte sat cuddled in a blanket, with Charlotte’s sister Emily nodding to classical music on her headphones, in a whole other world of her own. Mel had a warm mug of hot chocolate in her hands, as she nudges her fiancée and chuckles, “When do you think dead girl and Hollis are going to tie the knot?” 

          “You know, that’s offensive. Carmilla never had that disease. Nor was she a vampire.”

           “She’s pale as a ghost and skinny as a twig, even though she eats nine times a day. Pardon me for I was misinformed. It’s a joke, Char, simmer down.” 

          “As for the other thing,” Charlotte leaned in, “How much do you want to bet they’ve already eloped during their Vegas trip?”

           “I swear to god I’ll kill them both. Then resurrect them. Because dead girl promised me I will be Maid of Honor.”

            “Wow. That's a little excessive.” 

            Chuckling, Emily rolled her eyes at the two and took off her headphones, admiring how red and gold the sky is. She points. "What's that called - when the sky is getting this color, just before it gets any higher?" 

            "The Golden Hour." Lafontaine announces wearily, before promptly falling back asleep. 

            No one said anything for a while. They just took it all in, and understood. 

   Sitting several inches away from them, on a few logs all cluttered together, were Kirsch, Laura, SJ, and Carmilla. 

           “So, wait—let me see if I remember correctly. Your mother had a mental illness, right? She wasn’t—you know—evil?”

            “No, she wasn’t evil,” Carmilla explained, and felt Laura rub her knuckles in comfort. “Her mental illness was Munchausen by proxy. Apparently, my mother struggled with abandonment issues in early childhood, which then carried into her adult life. It stemmed from the moment my father left. I understand now why he did, for if he stayed, she probably would have found a way to trap him too.”

           “Would you go looking for him, if you could?” SJ asked curiously.

           “I’ve thought about that, for a long time. My answer is no. Why would I go looking for someone who never cared for me? I have my family in all of you.” Laura cooed, bringing Carmilla’s head toward hers for a kiss.

            “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for much,” Kirsch mumbled, scratching the back of his head, “If I had known, I’d done something to help you.”

            “That’s sweet, Kirsch,” Laura said kindly, patting his arm, “But you couldn’t have known. Everything got itself sorted out.”

             “Yes. We had a court hearing and Lilita was sentenced to twenty years of community service, and she’s got a parole officer. With that restraining order, I haven’t spoken to her in a whole year.” 

              “I remember that day. You were so scared.”

               “My mother is a master manipulator. I was worried even with evidence, she would worm her way out of it.”

               “She didn’t, though. We get to see so many sunrises together now.”

               “You’re decent company.”

                “I try.”

       SJ cooed, smiling lovingly at them. “I love that sunrises have become—like—your thing. Kirsch, why don’t we have a thing?”

                 “Uh, we watch House Hunters every night after dinner with Natalie.”

                   SJ thought for a moment. “Good enough.”

     Everyone chuckled knowingly.     

             Carmilla smiled as she glanced over at Lafontaine and Perry, who were both fighting to stay asleep, but they were nodding off. Carmilla doesn’t blame them—they had spent that previous evening looking at wedding venues for their Fall wedding. It was only a matter of time before Perry turned into bridezilla.

             So many wonderful things were happening at once. It was all a bit overwhelming for Carmilla, though she wouldn’t have it any other way. Happiness came to her later in life, and she was determined to hold onto it for as long as she possibly could. 

             (That wasn’t selfish of her, was it?)

            “I can’t wait to raise a family with you.” She whispered, sleepily cuddling onto Carmilla’s shoulder. “Imagine. All our kids, cuddling in bed with us. Perhaps a dog or two?”

            “That will be a beautiful sunrise,” Her soulmate replied, feeling the ring in her back pocket. “Let’s enjoy this one for now, hmm?” 

            “Happy anniversary, my sweet rose.”

             “Happy anniversary, my little star.” 

     (They’d share many mornings just like this one, in the years to come. Laura, with her swollen belly, tired and aching for relief after carrying their youngest for the last nine months. Then, Carmilla would join her, with another sleepy babe in her arms, the same honey blonde hair and blue eyes. A third would poke their tiny head through the door, small enough to ride on their family dog, and would beg to join them all even though there’s no room—though they always make room. The sun will rise like it always does, but they would cheer nonetheless.)   

       They watched, in awe, as the sun stretched its weary bones and rose into the sky. Carmilla stretched her own bones, and rose, ready for the next adventure, wherever it may lead her.

       All was well. 

**THE END**

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Have a wonderful day, afternoon, night, or wherever you are in the world.
> 
> love,  
> nikki


End file.
